"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

Same here. Married 17 yrs. first time. Of course I love my children. Of course they mattered, deeply, to me. But I put my marriage first-if I'd put the kids first, we wouldn't have made it past year 1.

So. H just called. He is VERY UPSET. Because his boss is sending him 120 miles away from his location this afternoon, and he was planning on meeting SD17 on her way to his apartment and taking her on a FABULOUS weekend THAT SHE HAD PLANNED. He is so angry. Plus, his gout is kicking up and he was wondering how he would escort his precious diamond of a daughter, SD17, around the amusement park tomorrow. Good grief-the man makes good money-had 4 days off last week-and now he's mad because his boss came back-hes' been way for 4 months-and is making him actually work for his money.

But H is SO UPSET. HOW IN THE WORLD WILL HE DISAPPOINT his precious SD17. Gee. We had our wedding planned-were traveling 1200 miles away to get married on the beach. Everything was set. Then, H called. He couldn't get away from work the week we had planned months before. We'd have to change our plans. Move them up. I had one day-one day to pack, change all reservations, get my hair done. But that was no big deal to him. When I reminded him that he makes a good living, and yes, it's not fun to disappoint your kid about her trip-but look at what I had to do for our wedding-He got pissed. So her halloween trip to the amusement park being cancelled is a huge tragedy. I know he expected me to offer to take her and bring her back-WTF??? He knows my son-who I see once in a blue moon-is going to be here this weekend. And, by God, I'm won't be catering to his precious darling and losing time with my son.

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

But he was busy playing at the amusement park w/SD17. He was soooo tired-he had to have been due to work circumstances, he had only 3 hrs sleep the nite before, and his gout was hurting soooo bad-Well, I sure got to hear about it, but evidently he wasn't feeling to awful to spend the afternoon at the mall & the nite at the amusement park. Anything goes for SD17.

Anyway, I waited till I knew he was nearly back to the apartment to call him. I just really needed to talk; it was a hard nite for me and I just couldn't quit crying (and I rarely cry). Do you think that after spending all day w/SD17 & all evening with her that he could give me 15 min. uninterrupted on the phone. Hell no. I was trying to tell him about it, tell him how I was feeling-and he's talking to SD17 while he's on the phone with me. This is crap. We go anywhere, do anything-he calls her. We've not had one meal out where he was not on the phone, while we were eating, with SD17. I don't hold much hope for the marriage.

But he hasn't talked to SD13 in three days.

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

He's 16 yrs. old. He's the one she slipped up on when she told us he holds the sheets over her head when he farts.

Sd17 also has a piercing-her nose is pierced. And tho previously H said his children would never be allowed to do that-he said not a word to her when she showed up with it pierced.

Funny thing. Last week, I said something to SD17 about her trip to her father's apartment this weekend. Her response-she looked at me, raised her eyebrows in surprise, and said "He told YOU about that?" WTF. What is he doing-he obviously has her thinking-and probably actually is-that I am kept totally out of the loop here. That they have their secret little relationship and they will make plans and I am not to be consulted/considered(God only knows what else they have planned without my being informed).

SD13 is a sweet girl-she's pretty, polite, (yes, she's typical of that age also-lazy, has to be pushed to do schoolwork) and very kind hearted. And so grateful for the smallest things. She is the total opposite of SD17. And I don't know how much longer I can stand watching this. I've tried to talk to H about what he is doing here with his obvious favortisim (not even mentioning how he treats SD17 like she is the wife and I am the-well, don't know what I am I guess) to SD17 is doing to SD13. He refuses to acknowledge it. Her gave her (SD13) $20.00 two weeks ago and she went to the store with me. Found a couple of things that came to more than the $20.00, so I pitched in to get them for her(she's sat and watched him dole out the cash to SD17 constantly). He was mad that she spent the $20.00. She should have given it back to him for her text messageing. Meanwhile, SD17 hands daddy her $20.00 for her text messaging(of course, she has some money. She's old enough to work part-time), and he gives it right back to her as she has "expenses". Yea. She has expenses all right. Manicures.

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

My youngest son arrived early Sat. evening. We drove (just he and I-H had darlin' SD17 at his apartment, so didn't come home) to a nearby town and had a wonderful steak supper and a couple of beers. Came home and watched a movie together.

He's soooo funny. He's gained a little weight, so when I asked what he would like for Sunday dinner, he said something healty. So I fixed salmon sauteed in raspberry vinagrette served on baby spinach, cottage cheese with pears, and mixed veggies. He basically choked it down (telling me how great it was), leaned back and said that was wonderful fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy. Ok, girls, I know he's a man and wanted the "real meal"-I cooked for him for over 20 years, after all. But I offered the fried chicken dinner-he is the one who said he wanted something healthy and low-calorie!

We had a wonderful time, just he and I. His take on H is not good-so I pretty much kept the conversation away from how H has been acting with the wonderful miss SD17. My BS is really encouraging me to go to school right now rather than just find another low level low paying bank job (like I've had my entire working life).

So, Endora, being with my son was like a spa for the soul. Just miss him so much now that he has left.