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Holidays

newtothis03's picture

Submitted by newtothis03 on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 1:42pm

DH and I are getting married in 2 weeks. And with Thanksgiving being right in the middle of that and then Christmas, I have been trying to plan out the holidays with our schedules. Having to go between 2 families plus having SD in the mix has proven to be a pain in my side. Luckily my side of the family easily compromises. Since we only have SD the 22-24 this year for Christmas, my family has agreed to have a small Christmas dinner the 22nd to open gifts with SD . I attempted to set up a time on the 24th for DH's family to have Christmas with SD. I figured they would like to spend time with her on Christmas Eve and open gifts with all the kids and just enjoy family time. Plus DH is off that day so he would get to be there too. For some reason this didn't set well for his family. They couldn't understand why we couldn't just do that on Christmas day. So I tried to explain. It's not our year to have SD for Christmas Day. So even tho, we will still be there on Christmas, SD won't be. Honestly, I planned it more for the kids. I figured it would be great to get all the small kids together so that they can play. It's rare that all 5 cousins see each other. That wasn't enough of a reason. So DH's aunt comes up with an idea to have it on one of our Wednesdays. They know good and well i work 5 days a week. And DH only gets SD half days on Wednesdays. Plus DH has family that lives 2 hours away that wouldn't be able to travel in the middle of the week either. Of course they pulled the same crap for Thanksgiving so I shouldn't be surprised I don't guess.

Comments

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 2:00pm

It doen have to be that complicated. You can take her to that side of tge family and ket her open her gifts frim them. They dobt have to have a huge deal. We have ours on christmas day period, ant kids that arent there can be brought iver ant other time and open gifts but the dinner and everything will be that day.

Yes i have a niece and my own skids that arent always here on that day we just take them over when we can and the open gifts. They have christmas with their moms its not a big deal

Geez why do peopke make this hard. Eye roll.

newtothis03's picture

Submitted by newtothis03 on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 2:14pm

It would be rude if they had any actual plans. And considering they constantly complain they never get to spend time with SD, i figured they could all come to MY house on Christmas Eve and let the kids open up some gifts and let them play. It's the only day the entire family would even be able to get together. So when I had originally discussed this with them, we agreed on finger foods and snacks since everyone would have turkey and dressing the next day. I figured alot of it had to do with the fact I won't let the men drink at my house with all the kids there. And that's my personal house rule. I came up with the idea to begin with because his grandmother and aunt wouldn't leave me alone about it and my family asked to have a small Christmas with her.

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 2:04pm

If they pick a day that doesn't work for you, don't go.

Eventually they'll learn to either be more accomodating and figure something feasible out, or they'll know to not expect your attendance.

Holidays are always a power struggle in my family .. and I just don't engage. If it's going to be stressful, I don't go. I refuse to let my holidays be reduced to that. This year we're going to Florida for Christmas.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 2:14pm

DH has been getting the short end of the stick when it comes to Skids & Holidays because we just go by alternating weekends. So if it just so happens that we have SD on a Holiday, than so be it. If not, oh well. This year, we don't get SD for Thanksgiving or Xmas but we do get her for New Years. At the end of the day she doesn't care, all she cares about is getting her gifts.

newtothis03's picture

Submitted by newtothis03 on Mon, 11/12/2012 - 2:24pm

We go by the State Visitation Schedule as its stated in our CO. So next year we'll have SD for all the major holidays (which BM is already complaining about...but that is a completely different post) I think I am going to take SMof2Girls advice tho, just leave my plans as is and who shows, shows. If they want to bitch about it later, they can bitch about it to someone else