Here's life: Part 1

I thought I hit gold, a great husband, two step kids and a seeemingly cool ex-wife.

NOT:

Part 2

Fights, legal battles and parental alienation

Part 3

Too much stress, building a new house, husband loses his job, multiple miscarriages inexperienced contractor, fails to finish project and tries to sue us because he can't pay his own bills.

Part 4

We move into our unfinished new house, step kids won't see us. BM supports them taking new boyfriens last name, and argues that they shouldn't have to call or see father on birthdays, fathers day whatever.

Part 5

Bank opens loan because of stupid contractor, and we lose our loan and our house.

Part 6

We have the house on the market, we had some identity theft and all of our reserve cash was sucked away. Working with bank to get our money back so we can stay afloat.

Part 7

We must sell this house or we will lose everything, DH hasn't a job, my job is injeapardy, and the economy is failing

Part 8

We take a vacation, regroup, look at what we have and reevaluate.

Part 9

The house will sell, we'll make a profit

Part 10

We'll take several months off. Friends have offered homes in Martha's Vinyard, Telluride, Vermont and hell it's cheap in bali. We have retreats, plenty of them and love. If only I took the time through part 1-7 to realize that everything is just as it is suppose to be and we will be alright no matter what, even if it doesn't look the way we imagined it to look.

We have eachother, we have peace if we let ourselves. We'll have money. No we won't have that "dream house" and no we don't have a good relationship with the step kids, but we have our integrity and we know we did our best. We know that life can go up and down and we can swim, and play or feel lousy.

So...I'm feeling like a tenderized piece of beef, and now I feel tastier than ever. Believe me, I've suffered more than this tale will tell. But I am feeling for the first time, a beauty that will make life so much more pleasureable if I let it.

Plans are to "retreat" in September. I'm taking a leave from work, my husband has promised to take financial responsibility, and with the sale of our house...we're out of here for a while.

God bless us all. What I really want now, is what God is giving me. I want time for my family, my husband and my beautiful little girl. I want peace for my soul and my body. I didn't ever imagine it would look like this, but hell...who get's the opportunity to travel the world for a few months and take a break from it all. I guess I can't complain.