trick or treating.. how would you feel?
I haven't posted on here in a long time.
Quick update. I'm engaged to FDH and he has 3 daughters. We've been together for 6 yrs. Me and BM have never gotten along. In many ways I wish she'd fall off the face of this earth. She's wrote me on facebook when she was pissed at my FDH saying how she has all these texts from him (sexual). But never sent me proof. She called him and said how much she still loves him, wants to get back together, bla, bla. Can't f'n stand her. She's asked him to have sex on many different occassions. I even have my suspicions that they did mess around. I'm also 9 months pregnant.. due in a week! A week before the baby shower she RSVPed to my mom for the SK's but made sure to put her two cents in.. saying she saw condoms in his car. And guess what? There really were condoms. You're getting the point here right? My FDH might have messed around with her skanky @ss and BM is psycho jealous and I'm 9 months pregnant...
Ok, so I don't feel comfortable having them two alone together, even if thekids are there... Obviously. His kids and BM live over an hour away. Me and FDH live together. He's considering going up there for trick or treating Saturday. (they changed it to Saturday because of the hurricane.) I already told him I don't feel comfortable with it after all that happened but he's still considering it because he wants to go with his kids trick or treating. I'm due Saturday, trick or treating night. I'm full blown pregnant and really, I don't know if I feel up to walking around with them because its tiring this far along. And of course, she doesn't want me there either because "its tradition I walk around with them," she said to FDH. I know for a fact I'm going to be really upset if he goes and leaves me behind with a paranoid pregnant mind.
In my mind I don't think he should go just for the mere fact that I could pop at any moment. Is that selfish? Shouldn't he respect the fact I'm not comfortable with it with them two together? I'm already hurt and trick or treating didn't even happen yet! Am I going pregnant crazy, am I selfish or am I being normal? How should I deal with this?
^^^^THIS! I can't believe
^^^^THIS! I can't believe he'd even consider being an hour away from his DUE AT ANY TIME pregnant significant other trick or treating with kids and his ex wife.
I wouldn't want to stick around if I had the doubts you do. Generally, when you have the feeling that he's messing around, HE IS...
I wish you the best. I am sorry you're having to deal with this on top of being pregnant.
Don't let the raging hormones
Don't let the raging hormones cloud your judgement .... OF COURSE HE SHOULD BE WITH YOU INSTEAD OF TRICK OR TREATING WITH IS FIRST FAMILY SPAWN AND XW, OF COURSE YOU ARE NOT BEING SELFISH, OF COURSE YOU ARE BEING NORMAL ... or at least as normal as is possible for a 9mo pregnant woman and IMHO you are being normal even if you weren't pregnant. NOt that as a man that I have any clue what I am speaking of regarding normal for a 9mo pregnant woman.
I think that if I were you I would initiate a CS judgement against your FDH immediately after the birth of your child. He needs to know that you have just as big of a handful of his short and curlies as his XW has and that he WILL get in line with his current family or he will be on the hook for ever increasing amounts of financial obligation to your child.
Remind me again how old your FDHs first family spawn are? Hopefully they are later in their childhood so that when they are 18 you can take your CS and what is freed up when the older kids age out from under the CO.
Even as a man I have no clue of what WTF is going through your SpermIdiot's head.
I am sorry for your situation. Your FDH needs a firm bout with clarity of the hard object to the side of the head kind. (Figuratively and financially of course).
Good luck and all IMHO.
I'd kick his sorry cheatin
I'd kick his sorry cheatin ass out so fast. You are not being selfish and unreasonable. Every time I was due to give birth I wanted my husband close by just in case. What are you going to do next year when you want him to T or T with your baby and he wants to T or T with the skids? Are you going to TAG ALONG for the rest of their childhoods, always walking in the shadow of bm? No wonder she's acting the way she is, your DH is giving her all the power (and sex). Shame on him. I get so mad when I hear stories like yours. Give him the boot and file for a handsome amount of cs.
RED FLAG ---> when SO wants
RED FLAG ---> when SO wants to hang out with bm to keep the "family together feeling" for the skids. BAD. NEVER GOOD.
WTF?! why are you with him,
WTF?! why are you with him, you seriously think he's been cheating on you with her, your 9 months pregnant and he wants to drive 1 hr away to go trick or treating with BM?! Wake up hun, you need to kick him the F out! he sounds like he is having his cake and eating it! the fact that BM is rubbing your nose in it and he has not one thing to make it better for you, shows he doesnt care.
My DH and BM will never be doing any shit together f'for the skae of the kids' EVER. they decided not to be together in a relationship, not me, therefor the kids need to know there is no mum and dad but mum and her many boyfriends and DH with me, 2 seperae families! Skids know it and LOVE it!
DH alone with BM...I would not be there when he comes home.
Look after yourself and your baby, do not let his bull shit stress you, but you should think of leaving himbecause this sounds ridiculous!
BM has told you the jerk has
BM has told you the jerk has slept with her. You think he has slept her. Chances are he has (is).
You're about to go into labor and he's making plans to have a good time with his ex wife and their kids.
I would ask a family member to be with me during labor. I'd spend the next few days packing his shit.
You don't get to live with me if you fuck BM.
Pregnant or not, if your not
Pregnant or not, if your not comfortable with your FDH & the BM having any sort of activities together, he right there should put your feelings first & happily respect your wishes. Being you are due on the date that he is going to be with her tells me that he has an agenda & is jumping the fence. I'm sure after you have your baby, the BM will rub it in to you of what they were doing.
Sadly to say this, he sounds like a back door man.
Good luck with your labor & delivery, hope it goes smooth
I wasn't logged in when I
I wasn't logged in when I read your post, so I logged in expressly to chime in how WRONG he is.
Even if he is not sleeping with her, leaving you at that time to trick or treat as a "family" tradition is wrong.
Ugh, there is just so much wrong with this I'm practically speechless.
On a side note: when I was 8 months pregnant I found out my husband was in love with someone else. Had met his soulmate. Puke. The stress of this discovery put me into labor within 48 hours. He still hadn't committed to leaving me...I thought we still might get back together. I let him be in the delivery room with me and this was looming the entire time. On the other hand, had we stayed together, I always would have regretted not allowing him in the delivery room.
Soooo...you need to have a serious, serious discussion with him. Today. You need to full on believe he is faithful. And he needs to full on understand his obligation is to you, not BM. And then if it turns out he was not faithful, you only have a couple days to process that.
I wish you had time to read the book Stepmonster before the baby comes. I actually read it in one or two sittings. Actually, only half the book is pertinent and the rest is something about biology (interesting, but not what you need to know right now).
Has he done this for the last
Has he done this for the last 6 years?? Gone out as a family??
Honestly, I think the LEAST of your worries is trick or treating. It sounds like he's messing around on you...and probably with her.
I was past my due date when I found out the loser-ass baby daddy was still legally married. Yup. Found the papers UNDER a dresser I moved. Sucker punch to the gut.
Time for you to take care of you and your little one. F*ck trick or treating.
I'm so sorry he is doing this
I'm so sorry he is doing this to you and your child....because it is not just you he is screwing over anymore....