My SS is 11. I honestly haven't even seen him in a 6 weeks. He is not allowed to be around my bio son because he is abusive to him. SS is to start counseling this week and my DH and I have now been 4 times to counseling. So we spend EOW apart, I stay at the house with my son and DH spends the weekend at his parents with his son...pretty crappy way to live I guess but again, I am loving it. I am hoping counseling works for SS only so that he can have friends at school (he has none) but I really am secretly hoping that it doesn't work for in regards to liking my son...I just don't want anything to do with my SS at all. I feel like I have one foot out the door already. I guess I love my DH but really it took him years to put his son into counseling and I guess I have just begun to distance myself from him as well. Counseling is going ok for DH and I. I was asked to say what I do like about SS and I was in complete shock that I couldn't think of a damn thing. I had to say something because DH was sitting next to me so I said...."he is smart". Seriously, thats the only thing I could think of. There is not ONE thing I actually like about him. He has been in my life for 8 years now and I have stopped trying all together. I say Hi and Bye...but thats about it and now I don't see him at all. With the holidays approaching I started to think...this is a crappy life for everyone. Are we going to be spending holidays apart now...I am just kinda over it. I don't want to hurt my DH by leaving and I feel the reasons I want to stay are selfish (security). DH knows my feelings towards his SS and understands them as he knows his son is difficult but even with him understanding it doesn't make life better. I am suppose to be creating memories with my whole family not just my son...that is why I got married...but how can I create memories with a person I can't stand to even look at.

Brief idea of SS - He has no friends, never invited to another ones house or B-day party, watches TV all day. Believes the people in the shows are his friends almost, is NEVER wrong and will argue with you until you just give up, has a temper and throws items or hits. Doesn't know how to carry on a conversation at all with anyone, believes my son is the stupidest person in the world and calls him dumb, stupid, idiot, has hit my son, punched him, yells at my son when my son is laughing or having fun telling him to shut-up, thinks people who live in apartments are poor, or if you are not a doctor, lawyer etc, you are not smart/poor, does not play with any toys EVER. Thinks toys of all kinds are for babies and he would rather have an ipod (which BM got him) a computer (which BM got him) or just watch hours of TV....

Anyways, I am just sick of living a crappy life like this. I appreciate DH is trying but I don't think it even matters. Bottom line is I am never going to like SS ever.