Am I overreacting?
My husband and I have been together almost 3 yrs. My oldest dtr moved back into my house with us last yr around this time. It has been pure hell since then. She and I had a rocky relationship and she moved to her dads a few yrs before. She came home because she was pregnant. She straightened up at that point. Now, she is one with a 3 month old baby. We have reconnected and I have loved being a part of her life this past yr. but my husband has done nothing but criticize her. I get so sick of it and used to take up for her, now I just shut down. She is NOT perfect and she and I have a lot of differences but I try to respect her as an adult and give her some privacy, show her some emotional support, etc. he bashed her saying she wouldn't stop partying while she was pregnant. She did and was the picture of healh. He said she wouldn't take care of the baby at night. She did and still does and we have never heard him at night. He said she needed a job. She got one after her 6 wks was up. Now he is mad because she wants to go to FL for 2 days with her boyfriend. She asked if I cold keep the baby for one day and she has someone else for the other. I loved the idea of getting to spend time with him. He wants her to stay home and save money. She hasn't been to the beach in a few yrs and its not like she is going to spend a ton of money with all others to split the bill with. I have rambled, but the point is he constantly has something to say or rolls his eyes and sighs or something about her or another be of my kids every single day and I am so sick of hearing it. I don't bash his kids that can't keep a job or want even try to get one, but borrow money to take care of themselves and their baby all the time! It's almost to the point where I am ready to tell him to get out. Am I wrong?
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Tell him to disengage and
Tell him to disengage and leave it to you to deal with. He needs to for his own health and for the health of your marriage.
He asked me what I wanted him
He asked me what I wanted him to do, and that is what I pretty much told him....I wanted him to leave the parenting my kids to me and deal with her. She does need to save money but I don't expect her to sit around all weekend when the baby is with other family and not go out sometimes. She is 21. She is nowhere near perfect, but it isn't always her. He finds one of them to talk about all the time. I know some people here will think I am the typical Bm that thinks her kids do no wrong. Sure, they are my kids and I love them, and will protect them til I die, but I have never had a problem with making them be responsible or respectful, etc. I am going to sit with her and find out her plan for 6 months down the road, try to get her thinking about a way to move out....but with a baby and a 10/hr job, what could she even afford? I am not happy about her living at home, not happy about her having a baby unprepared, but I have to love her and help where I can.
Does husband WANT your
Does husband WANT your daughter and granddaughter living with you? If my husband thinks his daughter and her kid (hypothetically) would ever live here for an extended period of time he's crazy.
Maybe your husband is pissed because he doesn't want them there. And I think he's perfectly entitled to think that way, and you're not entitled to blow him off because your love having your daughter and grand kid there.
Is there a reason she can't get section 8 housing, and welfare, and move out?