If you don't have kids together, I say run.

I love my husband dearly, but my SD and her mother are two of the most depressing things in my life. I loathe the weekends she is here. I hate her in my house, using my stuff, taking the money we need so her mom can buy her $100 dollar shoes, and touching my baby. I hate myself for feeling this way and if I had it all to take back, I would have never married and had children with a man with kids. It only gets harder and harder. They never go away.

Sad but true. I cant seem to get over the hurt the adult daughter, 32 yo of my SO has caused me. Hurt which has turned to hate, which I cant seem to shake. I wish I could clean the slate with a new man, but I am stuck with my SO. Adult daughter meddled in our relationship to the point she is now part of our relationship. Her intention was to cause irrepairable damage to her daddy's relationship and she succeeded. Our relationship is no future expectations because of psychologically damaged 32 yo daughter of SO. I try to be positive and think daughter of SO did me a favor by showing her psycho side before I married her daddy. Marriage will not happen in my lifetime due to psyco daughter.

OK, wait...I think your lawyer is full of it. If the BM has custody, that means that ALL YOU have to do is NOT PICK UP THE KID. Period. The worse she can say/do is take you to court for not taking parenting time, but most judges would tell her to suck an egg...especially when it happens ONCE or even just once in a while.

We had similar issues with the crazy witch...when SHE wanted to go on VC, she had NO problems with DH missing visitation for a month or more, but if DH asked her to keep her one weekend because of a trip he won at work or something, she would start the "no way, your daughter needs to see you crap". Finally, DH and I read the Texas laws and really, there isn't much she can do to MAKE you take parenting time. She CHOSE to be custodial, then that's exactly what it means. Sorry, your DH needs to step up here and just not pick up the kid.

That's a weird set up. She has custody but your husband has visitation 50% of the time? Normally it would be "shared custody" with physical custody 50/50.

I.e. the two of them work everything out between the two of them and as was said above he simply tells her he's not coming that weekend.

In any event that's what I would do anyway. I agree that the very worst that can happen is that she petitions the court for a violation of the courts order and I've never heard of a violation of a visitation order whereby the parent didn't pick up the kid(s). It would cost a bundle to hire an attorney to do that.

Of course she will find a way to retaliate in which case your husband simply takes the blow and hopefully that will be the end of it.

I feel as though I am reading my own story here! You say you are new to this forum - I hope it gives you the support you need to save your marriage. I am currently sitting in docs waiting room about anxiety attacks brought on by SD16 and her mother! We have SS 14 and SD 16 for seven weeks during school summer break as dad a teacher. I have even at my wits end coping with having them so much especially as SD hates me! Find solace in your friendships and if you feel up to it, take the above advice and just go for your weekend away! I know that's not what I'd do - too scared of the repercussions and how exwife would react! Try to make time for yourself and your friends when the s kids are about and cherish the time with your husband when they are not there. They will grow up and leave home eventually and then you will be free to enjoy your relationship without all the hassle. - I am afraid thems the breaks when you choose a relationship with a man with kids - like others have said, if a friend of mine asked my advice if she met a man with kids, I'd say RUN AWAY!! Too late for us now that we are in too deep!
Hang in there and take any support you can get, morally and practically - good luck x

I feel as though I am reading my own story here! You say you are new to this forum - I hope it gives you the support you need to save your marriage. I am currently sitting in docs waiting room about anxiety attacks brought on by SD16 and her mother! We have SS 14 and SD 16 for seven weeks during school summer break as dad a teacher. I have even at my wits end coping with having them so much especially as SD hates me! Find solace in your friendships and if you feel up to it, take the above advice and just go for your weekend away! I know that's not what I'd do - too scared of the repercussions and how exwife would react! Try to make time for yourself and your friends when the s kids are about and cherish the time with your husband when they are not there. They will grow up and leave home eventually and then you will be free to enjoy your relationship without all the hassle. - I am afraid thems the breaks when you choose a relationship with a man with kids - like others have said, if a friend of mine asked my advice if she met a man with kids, I'd say RUN AWAY!! Too late for us now that we are in too deep!
Hang in there and take any support you can get, morally and practically - good luck x

I agree with an above post.. you really have NO obligation to pick up the kid... the BM can whine about how f'd up that is but has she is the custodial.. you only get this kid 1st 3rd and 5th fridays probably and that is hardly joint custody. It is not like you are ceasing child support. Just don't pick up the kid.. and if she gives you crap like "Oh no! Now you can't see them at all!" when you come back and you are ready to pick the kid up again just call the AG office and then they will call her... missing one visit is really not that big a deal.. and if you want to get real proactive on that shit.. go ahead and call the AG office yourself and explain the situation and this being the only measure you can take because she is being unreasonable.

I am constantly taken aback over how rude and inconsiderate BMs can be. It is almost like they are trying to make up for the fact that they no longer personally control BF, and so they use the SKids as a tool to take back this control. If I were the BM I would want to be accomodating and even befriend the BF's girlfriend/wife... raising kids is difficult (especially in a broken home), so why make do they make it even more difficult? I believe the BM's hostility and uncompromising behavior even has the potential to foster resentment by the BF of his own children. It is such a vicious cycle! These BMs are putting the BF in a position where they can't wait for their kids to turn 18! Instead these BMs should be striving to create an environment in which both homes enjoy the children and look forward to having them. UGH!!

I have a crazy BM also. They live tomtorture others. Get a babysitter and go.

We have a crazy BM too, just don't pick up the skids or get a babysitter or family member to watch them. If this was a family emergency and you needed to leave for a few days it would be the same thing and you would not be picking up the skids. You need alone with your DH and he needs to understand that he will never make the BM happy, no matter what he does.

If she takes you to court on it, you have proof that you have been accommdating in the past and she won't have a leg to stand on! Believe me, when our judge told the BM that she couldn't get CS and expect us to also pay for all new clothes when the skids needed them! He laughed at her and told her she was living in a fantasy land! Sounds like your BM is doing the same thing!