Feeling sad that I am writing this
My Dh has decided Ss will be going to the facility at the end of June as planned. Ss was putting in a lot effort to improve. But he still has behaviors that are not ok. He can really hurt himself if he goes down this path.
He has been biting all over the inside of his moth. And he has been using floss to cut into his gums. Luckily my Dh noticed it. At first we thought it was mouth sores. We were about to take him to see a doctor. But he confessed. He said he liked the feeling. Its all read and swollen in his mouth. Some of the wounds are still bleeding. We took away the floss and are making him to a salt water gargle everyday. But my Dh still thought it would be ok if Ss stayed here.
But what finally convinced my Dh was last Saturday. He found four travel sized alcohol bottles (the kind you get in air planes). three of them were empty. We think Ss stole from his friends' house when he went to see them two days before. Dh confronted Ss about it and Ss apologized and starts crying, saying he won't do it again. That is exactly what he said the last time we caught him. He apologizes and does it again.
So my Dh has contacted the facility that we will be going ahead with the plan. H will be taking Ss there at the end of June. I think what is killing my Dh is the amount of effort Ss has been putting in to improve. But these destructive behaviors are really going to harm Ss's health. Now its alcohol and biting his mouth. Are drugs and cutting himself next? I am going to be feeling gloomy for a long time now. 
- praying's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I think you guys are doing
I think you guys are doing the right thing for him. As much agonizing over doing it and making the right choices for him as you are doing, it is obvious how much you love him. Your family is in my prayers!!
{{praying}} yes, it IS the
{{praying}} yes, it IS the right thing, the best thing for your ss (and all of you). He is getting more sly in his acting-out and needs seasoned professionals to get him on the right track. As messy as it is for all of you to move in this direction, it is what will save his life.
As hard as it is and like the
As hard as it is and like the old song "Cruel to be kind" this path has to go ahead.
He doesn't want to leave his father and you. He has a somewhat safe environment there but he cannot stay in his room and be safe from the outside world for the rest of his life. He needs to learn what triggers his destructive behaviour and what danger sign to look out for in others and himself. He needs to learn ways to deal with his emotional pain and this is something his parent/s cannot do being so close to the situation.
He needs to be somewhere where he is not going to reduce teachers to tears or they act horrified as more and more of his story comes out.
Yes, you are doing the right thing. It just sucks all around, that's all.
Thanks for all the nice words
Thanks for all the nice words everyone. My heart just feels heavy. My Dh cried last night. He really does not want to do it. But hopefully it will work. And hopefully Ss won't hate us for too long.