Ugh
I'm so angry I'm shaking...WHY does she insist on dragging me into crap that doesn't pertain to me?? She is blaming me, my BD and fiancee for FSS's regression and his bad behaviors. And says "I'm glad sixxnguns found a daddy for her baby so you guys can have a new nice family without FSS" Give me a break, this woman is going to hear it on Friday...I will tell her if she doesn't like the way things are over here she can keep her son at home WITH her every other weekend...I have so had it with her drama making butt...And I'm sick of her dragging me into the mix when I have never spoke a word to her, and I've totally disengaged from their screwed up child...I'm not going to be silent anymore, she WILL hear it...
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It is the situation
not the child or you or Dh... Some kids cannot adjust to the transition of visits and rule changes, etc. He is seeming to her to be digressing after visits because he is acting act. She needs to step back and stop blaming people and start helping her child. It is your SS's way of venting to his emotions. We all do it. We are all human beings. Only thing is, a kid cannot communicate it like an adult. Dont try and keep SS from DH because of it. Then BM has won.
BM needs to step up and be a better mom. When my SD (which we have custody of) comes back from visits and was acting out, we took action! Try to disengage a little more because if BM is making you THAT mad, then you have not disconnected enough.
I TOTALLY understand your position. I have been on both sides. Take a deep breath and focus on your "nice new family" that she says you have.
"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."
re;
She is just waiting to see you snap...don't give in, I had the same exact words thrown in my face before from BM, I gave her the opposit reaction she expected, by saying thank you, my new family is awsome....so glad u noticed!
~"Resist all the urges.... that make you want to go out and kill." ~ Chel.
if my fiancee's ex said that...
i would say "thanks, im glad too, but then again, i didnt lie to get pregnant and force him to have an unwanted child w me like u did, and im not a crazy intolerable bitch..." but thats just my situation, dont know how applicable it is to u! maybe take the high road and blow it off, though i always have trouble shutting my mouth and grinning and bearing her digs at me.
I know..
and I probably will end up saying nothing..I'm just so sick of her and how everyone plays the pity card for her, poor single mom who can't take care of herself...wahhh...I've been a single mom for 5 years and have never once played the pity card. SHE cheated on HIM and now she still thinks he's supposed to pay her all this money...what a load...
RE:
Hun, I know it's hard to do, but try not to pay attention from the BS that comes out of her mouth. It's all crap, and it's designed for a specific purpose - to PISS YOU OFF! And you're letting her get what she wants. It's really difficult, trust me I know, but you can't let her get to you like this with every little spiteful petty piece of BS she says. There will be much more! She wants to chase you away and make you go crazy with anger. Try to adopt a "whatever" attitude toward the crap that she comes out with and let it roll of your back. You'll be much happier and more sane!
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
how do u deal w it?
seriously...we all know we should and we all know that getting upset is exactly what these bitches want but in reality, how do we stand being called names by a woman we never wanted association w in the first place, a woman whose children we are good to and love despite all this bs??? last sunday, BM stood at my front door and called ME a scumbag child abuser (lie, lie, lie...out of pure vindictiveness)...i am trying and i am trying but i shouldnt have to listen to this and i dont deserve to be treated this way and i cannot get her ugly face spewing those words out of my head...how are we supposed to just let go?? any advice? btw, i desperately want to join, but i cannot get the scrambled word!! any help w that?
trying to join
Hi,
Send me an email to dawn@steptalk.org. Include the email address that you want to use for your account and what user ID you want. I will set it up manually.
Thanks for your persistence,
Dawn
that's what I'm saying..
I'm to blame for everything that is wrong with FSS, I'm only with fiancee so my daughter has a dad...give me a break...I'm sick of being blamed and called names. And I'm just supposed to put up with it for 13 more years?? I will not leave fiancee over his cow of an exwife....but I don't think i should have to tolerate that kind of abuse
I know just how you feel
BM uses me to babysit when she doesn't feel like being a mom. She complains about everything I do or don't do. Then SD goes there and tells her she is cutting herself at BM's house (not ours) because SD hates me. I am so tired of both their drama. I know I'm supposed to care about a child's feelings over my own. I know the situation sucks. I know SD has a personality disorder...well they BOTH do. I know a lot of these things.
But my heart is heavy none the less.
Peace, love, and red wine
exactly how i feel
i love my BF sooooo much but sometimes i question us getting married bc im afraid of what BM will do in the future and im afraid of how FSD will act toward me. most of all, im concerned that this witch will continue to make our lives a living hell. i dont feel i should have to pay this price to be w him...i know dealing w kids/exes isnt easy and takes time but what she is doing is above and beyond. and im always thinking...16 more years??? is this what i want? can i deal?