I am just wanting a general feel for how others react to this. I have been around since my SS was 1 month old. His BM would not allow for BF to see him so we ended up taking her to court to establish visitation and set up our child support payments through the clearinghouse. When my SS was a little over a year old he called me mom a couple of times on a weekend visitation. We corrected him and told him what name to call me by, just out of respect for her being his BM. When my SS was 3, last year, his BM got married to a man that she had been dating/known for 5 months. The week after when we came to pick my SS up, he was already telling us he had two daddies. We tried to blow it off, but after a couple of months of hearing about it, we started letting him know that he has one daddy, one momma, one step-daddy and one step-mom. He seemed to understand, and would eventually stop talking about, then this past weekend happened...

On the way home the other night, my SS informed his dad once again that he had two daddies, as before his daddy tried to tell him again that he has one daddy and one step-dad. At that time my SS became a little frustrated and said, "No, I have two daddies, and my real daddy is the one I live with all the time." Well, that broke his daddy's heart but also frustrated him b/c a 4 year old will not think that on his own...and there have been several things he says that you know he has been coached on.

The BM's lifestyle was different growing up...she has never known her dad or who he is even is, and according to her online FB site she has three dad's listed has her dad. (Each of the three men her mom has ever married.) So, at first we just took it as she doesn't know any better, but now it is more like she sees that the BF loves his son and does everything and anything for him, but she still is trying to dimenish who he is in my SS's eyes. It is like she wishes he didn't exist and doesn't want her son bonding with him at all, which is probably true.

We have discussed talking to her, but worried that it will only play into her drama and probably wouldn't help. This man has been around for 1 year and I have been around 4 so there has been talk about me being called Mom to try to get her attention, but that is really not the point I want to make. I want respect for BM and BF as the parents who are both active in their son's life, and not to dishonor her role as the BM. Any advice?