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Hi! I'm new here

murray's picture

Just introducing myself. I have 6 kids in the house - 2 are stepkids. And I am the owner of one of the more psychotic ex-wives out there. She's driven me almost insane for years, but I'm handling her much better now.

I'll talk more later, but for now I just wanted to introduce myself.

Adriana.

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stepwitch's picture

We all have wondered how to handle the BM & Skids. I have failed miserably! Let us know. Welcome !!

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

murray's picture

I have a few minutes now to sit down with a cup of tea and write out a bit of my story Smile

I have had 5 years of hell. Not even counting all the bits in between, I have had the BM assault me in front of her crying kids, threaten me, turn my DH's family against me (his sister still won't talk to me), try manipulate the kids, manipulate DH, threatened to take his kids away from him if he didn't leave me, on and on.

It was a nightmare. Even recently, she spent nearly a year trying to break us up because a psychic told her she was going to get back together with 'an ex' and she thought it must be him, so she tried to break us up and told everyone that they were going to get back together. Very nearly did it too, we nearly divorced and there were at least 3 times that I did leave, even if only briefly.

Then when he eventually cottoned on what was happening and told her he wasn't interested, she looked up an ex-boyfriend and he told her to get lost, so she got desperate and looked up another old friend on the internet and within 2 weeks they were involved and 'in love'. It wasn't long after that that I realised what I was doing to my life because of her, and I switched off. It made the world of difference, it made her give up also, lol.

Now after all the fighting 'over the kids' and all her power struggles, and all her drama, she left her kids for this man who is a convicted paedophile and they now live with us full time.

It took a VERY long time for us to get past everything. She caused so many problems and even now we still have to untangle something that we find out she said or did. I used to lie awake at night and cry, I hated my DH at times, I hated him for not standing up to her, for always giving in to her, letting her into our lives as much as he did, etc. It really was touch and go for a while.

When I eventually had my wake-up moment it was like a light switching on. I guess I could say I literally changed our lives overnight. Even now sometimes it can be hard, but it gets easier every day. I love my honey, he is so wonderful, I can't believe we very nearly lost everything because of BM and all this mess.

I did what I suppose lots of us do when we find the answer and it works - I wrote a book about it - and now I can't stop. I'm writing 4 more and even as I write, the light switches on for me more and more. I can't believe I wasted so much time stressing myself into such a frenzy because of her, I was so low that I was put on double dose anti-depressants, and my doctor told my DH she was very worried about my stress levels.

They're gone now. Seriously, BM can't ever touch me again. I just laugh now.

Anyway, that's my story, well, some of it, lol! I have been reading here for ages but it took me soooo long to get past the captcha thing on the registration page, otherwise I would have posted ages ago. I feel sad reading some posts, like Chava and Cruella, sometimes it makes my blood boil.

My next book will be on the nightmare stepkids and the parents who feed them. Lol, not burgers, but feed their behaviour. I will stay on here now that I finally have got on!!! and will let you know when it's done Smile

xx

Trouble with a psychotic ex-wife? http://www.fairystepmonster.com

steppie1999's picture

I wish I had a handle on it like you seem to have.......
I have always said I was going to write a book, too. Of course it would have been either "horror" or "comedy" as this is our life with BM (and SK's). If it were a movie, it of course would be labeled a "Drama" Biggrin
Are you published? Can the rest of us read your books??
Maybe it will give some of the rest of us strength while we're waiting for our "moment of truth".

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN" Sad

ColorMeGone2's picture

I had a "light switch moment" like yours a few years ago. And yes, ma'am, it has certainly made a world of difference for all of us. No more BM, no more problems, no more anger, no more using me for target practice... just peace! Welcome. You're among friends.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

Catch22's picture

I used to vent my life away here and stress myself to death over her and SS and the drama!! Now I just come in to say hi, keep in touch with friends and people is the same situation. I too said BM will no longer control my feeling and Bada-Bing!! I don't care what she does anymore..well ok somethings still annoy me but I have my spit tell my friends here and then don't let it use up anymore of the precious oxygen she tries to suck out of us. Welcome. I am sure you too will help alot of us on here to keep the light firmly on!!

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*

Sita Tara's picture

Welcome!!!!

I just became a card carrying member of the International Women Writers Guild. I just paid to join, but what the heck- it's a first step! I'm headed to check out your link Smile

Z
Peace, love, and red wine

murray's picture

LOL!! I want to belong to a Guild! Yay! Smile

Thanks, I do feel very welcome here. After reading for a while, I feel like I know know some of you so well already!

It's an amazing moment, when you have that 'click' ... I'm glad I"m not the only one who has had it.

xx

Sita Tara's picture

I attend a women's writers group locally, and a yearly retreat about an hour from me. You don't have to be published to join, just pay a membership fee. It is an amazing networking, publishing, and retreat source.

http://www.iwwg.com/

I am still evolving toward my "click". I have experienced it before in tough decisions, and trying to live in the moment, finding gratitude, etc. But this situation is so much harder. Glad to have you here.

Peace, love, and red wine

stepwitch's picture

Is it published? Info please.......

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

murray's picture

I have started out with an e-book, the first of five in a series, and you can buy it online at http://www.fairystepmonster.com

I'm building up to the big 'Second Wife Bible', which I hope will be on bookshelves. Kinda feels somehow satisfying to have a new career off the back of someone that nearly drove me to jump off a cliff Smile

Sita Tara's picture

I am writing a play, but so many times on here people have said, "Where's the book?" I think what you're doing is wonderful, breaking it down. That's why plays come easier to me, especially monologue format. I am able to write a smaller complete story. I find the thought of an entire book daunting (especially with four kids ranging from 2 to 13.) Of course, if I stopped doing so much writing on here, and actually worked on a piece, I would be a lot further ahead!

Alas, I need this place to keep my sanity Smile

Peace, love, and red wine

sarahbernheart's picture

and welcome welcome
this site has been a relationship saver and a great source of support for me, I hope you find it to be the same
I think we all have had that switch off epiphany AINT IT GRAND!!
hope to hear more from ya!

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

Colorado Girl's picture

and welcome.

I recently had a "switch" flicker on too.

This is one of the toughest experiences of my life. I'm ready to perservere instead of accepting defeat. Raising a white flag to BM and letting go of the past was the hardest and best thing I could've ever done.

Good luck on your writing endeavors....you'll find ALL kinds of material to build on here. Smile

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

FallingfromGrace's picture

I read your book Murray! It was the best $10 I have spent in a year. It was absolutely wonderful. You have a real talent. You were speaking right to me. I read it straight through and I was so inspired. It really hit home with a lot of what I am going through right now. You are a true inspiration! Well done! I recommend it to all of you. You wont be disapointed.

stepwitch's picture

I also read her Ebook. I wrote privately to author and wrote almost the exact words. I think that maybe me and FFgrace are living the same life? ALL MUST LOOK INTO THIS !!!

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

everythinghappens4areason's picture

I plan on checking out this website myself!!!!
Corie