UNBELIEVABLE!

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The saga continues...in my prior post, I explained how, out of nowhere, my SD31 sends me, her dad and SD20 a FB message complainting that her BD doesn't come to see them, etc. and was questioning why her BD is going on trips, to concerts, etc. Ummm, am I supposed to leave my DH home while I go places? Pretty much she was slamming me, saying I am stopping him from going there to see them, stopping him from sending money to his BD20, but that's his decision to make. I have tried to be nice, and I have tried pushing him to make more contact and visit more often. The SD31 and the BM have the SD20 caught in the middle. SD20 can't stick up for me or her BD because her BM and the SD31 (her sister) make her miserable for weeks. My DH doesn't want me to disengage because he said it would tear up the SD20 because she likes me so much. Well, if she likes me so much, why does she feel the need to tell the SD31 about a quote I put on FB (which, mind you, I can put whatever I want to on my page) and told the SD31 that I was referring to SD31. The last time SD31 sent me a message on FB, she deleted me - booo f-ing hooo. Anyhow, my DH, 2 weeks after this quote was posted, yesterday, as a matter of fact, received another FB message out of nowhere from SD31 telling him I don't know what life they lived, I'm this, I'm that, assumingly based upon my little quote. When is this broad going to stop? BTW, my quote was this: "Don't assume that the way YOU see things is the way they really are. Your jealous, insecure, delusional behavior grows from these assumptions and makes you the psychotic, immature person that you have become" ~ Author Unknown

LOL

LOL }:)

Sounds like you hit a raw

Sounds like you hit a raw nerve to me! Well as they say, "If the cap fits, wear it".

Love EVERYTHING about what

Love EVERYTHING about what you said. I have one JUST LIKE THAT!

StepAside, that is beautiful!

StepAside, that is beautiful! Here is part of a message SD31 sent to her dad a few weeks ago: "If (her husband's name) had other children they would for sure be apart of us. That is what happens when you marry a man with kids." I was blown away that she wrote that, and so was my DH. Obviously she lives in her own reality and does not see that this is exactly what I have been trying to do, just live in harmony, but I get a fight at every turn. I do have to let her go, and my DH wishes he could too because of how she treats him for his past mistakes (he can't apologize forever), but he has a GD he wants to see (even though, he as well makes excuses not to go there). I am glad she deleted me from her FB, and I have no problem disengaging from her; the problem is my other SD20. We got along fine, but then all these messages, from out of nowhere, started rolling in from her sister. Because SD20 is surrounded by SD31 and the BM, she has to go along with what they say, otherwise they feel like she is a traitor. She is in a tough position. I'm sure it is hard for my DH to go through this; my biokids gave him a hard time in the beginning, over 6 years ago, but that was expected - new guy shows up, takes their mother's heart, etc. I believe his SD31 and the BM don't like the fact that he moved on and he has become part of another family. If he chooses not to communicate regularly with SD31 because of her behavior towards him, that's not my fault. I actually don't blame him, but I just wish everyone could get along. I will take your advice and not respond further to her rantings; DH hasn't either. Although he is not happy with this, I told him I do not want to be involved in gift shopping, card writing, gatherings, etc. as long as it involves her, but he does understand. I am not sure if I should do the same with the SD20 because everything with her is fine until she is around 'them.'

SD20 knows how we feel; she

SD20 knows how we feel; she knows I just want to get along with everyone and just be a happy blended family, as SD31 claims she would do if her husband had prior children. DH does not want to deal with SD31 and her rants because he will get nowhere. Whatever you tell her, of the BM for that matter, gets twisted to suit their needs. I believe I mentioned the wedding cake in a prior discussion. We were at the BM's house while my DH was changing the battery in SD20's car. In conversation, I asked the BM where I should send the check for the cake, then a week later, DH gets an email from SD31 asking why I was so pissed about paying for her wedding cake, then went on about how she don't need anything from us, etc., etc. They went back and forth, and ultimately, even though he ordered a tux for her wedding and expected to walk her down the aisle, the church lady gave us instructions to walk down together and have a seat!! I appreciate all your comments as they are very helpful and make complete sense; I just feel the need to clear my head and vent and determine whether all this drama is worth it.

Hopefully I will reach the

Hopefully I will reach the point you have reached StepAside - I'm sure I will be much happier.

True, sometimes blood isn't always thicker than water...

I think i'm finally getting

I think i'm finally getting there stepaside. The only thing that i'm re-thinking though is do i want to remain married. i'm giving it a few more months -- waiting until my daughter graduates. Then re-evaluate things. i don't think i can live the rest of my life like this. if there is no noticeable change for the better, i'm moving out.

It almost makes me CRY

It almost makes me CRY sitting here reading this!

My DH has been so wonderful and supportive through everything. Everything was wonderful the first two months of marriage, then it was like SD did a 180 and DH and I were left with this "what the heck" thing going on!

She honestly does exactly like you say in YOUR comment above. I have a hard time believing that ANYONE could think they should, or even have a "right" to talk to a father like this. I love my father, and if I were ever in a SD shoes I would NEVER treat or talk to him the way I have heard this SD treat my DH. I am truly shocked! My friend in Utah brought up the word "narcissist" and I had heard it but NEVER knew what it mean . . reading the articles I have leaves me dumbfounded. It's true! WOW

I just keep reading, listening to others who talk straight, and act like adults (whether we are SD, new wives, whatever) just keeps me grounded. Keeps me realizing I am not "crazy" or "paranoid". There are truly SD and SS out there that have one ambition . . . to get their dad to divorce us. One thing I have always been was STUBBORN . . . I never really knew why either!

Of note, this is my second marriage with four stepchildren. The first four it was not always "easy", we even have not been real happy with each other a lot over the years. I have an older "ex" stepdaughter that is as phony as they come . . however, she NEVER TREATED HER FATHER OR ME WITH SUCH SELF RIGHTEOUS DISRESPECT as my new adult (mormon) stepchildren. I am not married to the other dad anymore, but I actually LOVE all four of those kids. I dont always "like" the oldest "ex"stepdaughter, but I would push her out of the way of the oncoming bus with no hesitation. So when I talk about how narcissistic, vindictive, childish, etc with my new stepchildren? This is from a THEN 25 year old who married a THEN 38 year old with children (19, 16, 14, and 12) back in 1989. We have many good years, I have tried to write to let them know that I AM SO GRATEFUL for them! If I had not had a GOOD relationship with the "ex" stepkids I might truly question myself . . . but I did. I was a good stepmother, the situation is almost laughable . . if it didn't HURT so much I mean.

"SD's are drama whores if you

"SD's are drama whores if you don't feed them..." is on point! My DH hasn't responded to her messages, and when he called his GD on 'grandparent phone call day', (that I initiated BTW), she was very cold to him and said the GD was not home - hasn't called back. Then she wonders why he doesn't make more of an effort. As far as visiting, I believe I said in a prior post topic that SD, who lives in MI (we live in OH) drives periodically to PA to visit her husband's family, but has never made the effort to visit us (we live 5 minutes off the freeway exit). I'm also starting to believe that SD20 is claiming that this is all coming from SD31, but then we find out that everything her daddy tells her somehow gets to the SD31 and she uses it against him, just like how she 'FB policed' my quote to her. I understand she probably shouldn't stick up for me in front of her SD31 and her BM, but then why 'report' things to SD31?

BTW StepAside, you have no

BTW StepAside, you have no idea how badly I want to post your statement "Successful relationships are based on mutual respect. Dictating to fathers, complaining incessantly about their wives, humiliating him in public about his wife, playing games with his wife, belittling him, and treating him like an idiot is not treating someone with respect" on my FB page for SD20 to see and report to SD31....she treats him like he is her son; and believe me, I would say it to her face too.....aarrrggghhhhh

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