I am disengaged from sd21, it's kept me sane, believe me. DH can pretend all he likes about his relationship with her, dust it with roses, glitter, gold, whatever he wants..... It is what it is..... She is allowed to treat him disrespectfully, and for this pleasure, he gets almost zero contact or interest from her, and he gets to PAY for this service monthly by giving her money.... She's in full time higher education, with full loans, etc.

Anywhoo, don't mean to wander OT but I have been suggesting DH goes to visit skids , never once making him feel guilty about me, or commenting negatively about it, the usual stuff any disengaged SM says in disengaged no- man's land ( hell it feels and certainly FELT like a losing battle for years !!) So, I am helping him arrange things this end for him to go and he starts saying he would love me to go with him, that seeing skids will only be two days or so of the trip, leaving about 7 days for us. He is willing to pay for it all, nice Hotels, him and I special trips out, blah, blah..... I was adament in saying no, but it would mean a free trip, time to catch up with my own elderly family members and quality time with DH !!!! Rare enough as it is !!!

I feel I have been played, but it was too tempting, after a very hard year last year.... In fact, I am feeling more calm about it, as we will in fact see sd21 for only about 24 hours, we are not staying with any of HIS family, who believed everything sd21 said about us !!! So you can imagine the atmosphere there!! This will mean that she won't be coming to visit us again this year, so one day out of a year, should be bearable !!! Shouldn't it ??

We will be visiting her home turf, meeting the sap bf, who has also been lied too, naturally over the last 2 years.... Hmmmm, I wonder if sd21 is having a right ol' panic in her panties, as she paints DH to be such a monster and now the truth will be out !!! Can't wait to be the fly on the wall for that meeting, going to have to settle back with a big old drink and a vat of popcorn for the SHOW !!!

Just wanted to hear any views or experiences from SM's who have done this, or are doing this type of thing this year with skids ??? Am I crazy ?? Will it be worth one day of pain, for all the rest of the trip ??