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stepson and aspergers mother

sarahs's picture

I want to thank anyone who is reading this first off. Now I want to give some background on my situation. My husband and his ex have been divorced since my stepsons first birthday. She moved on with lots of resentment twards my husband. She has 2 more kids with 2 more different fathers and is married now. Her attorney tricked my husband into signing her to have all rights to him. My husband is very non confrontational. So he has not ever taken her back to court. He did not even get overnight visitations until 6 months after him and I got married. So her and I established a friendship and that made things so much easier. But now she is claiming his school thinks he has aspergers. He ranked 98% highest in the county with his math scores but he is.landless LD! This would not bother me so much if 1 she took him to the pediatration and got a second opinion. And 2 if she was not.so happy for.him to have this. It is all over her facebook before she even knows he has it. Aspergers awareness! She is the kind of person who loves attention and now.she is getting it through him. She has always used him to fight her battles now.she is gettinfg the.attention of.him possibly having this. Makes.me sick. Plus she cant wait to tell him. She is going to ruin him if she does.I still think she needs Dr opinion first. What are anybody else's thoughts on this?

IAmALady77's picture

MBPS anyone? Jeeze, why can't your DH take him to the doctor? Did he completely sign off all rights? If so He needs to get a lawyer STAT and stop being such a pushover.

herewegoagain's picture

My son has Asperger's and it runs in families.

1st. kids with Asperger's are EXTREMELY smart...math is usually one of their best subjects too Smile
2nd 99% of pediatricians don't know a THING about Asperger's, Autism, etc...the schools are MUCH better at diagnosing these things

Suggestions? Find books from Tony Attwood or go to this site:

http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/

I promise you, that if you look for some "quizzes" about Asperger's online, you will be able to quickly say "oh my! that's him!" or "not at all!"

Here is a great website that will help you find more about what is "different" about people with Asperger's than people who are not Aspies.
www.wrongplanet.net

Again, the more you read about it, the more you will be able to clearly see it or not in the young man. Heck, you might very well find that "oh my! my husband is EXACTLY like that too!" If you start realizing that your husband is "just like his son", although it might make you think that then there is no way his son is an Aspie, read this book...it is wonderful

http://www.amazon.com/Things-Woman-Must-Know-Aspergers/dp/1849058032/ref...

Good luck! Asperger's and Autism are NOT what most people think it is. There are many variations in cognitive level, especially among autism, however, I can assure you that once you read about it, you will understand. And still, most pediatricians and general practitioners have no clue about it...sad, but true.

You might be able to get a GOOD developmental pediatrician, psychologist, etc...but be sure to find one who specializes in Asperger's...otherwise, I can pretty much tell you that the schools are pretty on target with the quantity of kids that they see with the diagnosis.

PS - if he does, send him to www.wrongplanet.net...Asperger's is NOTHING to be ashamed about...it is actually a very unique and wonderful way of thinking and can be a huge advantage in life...provided the social aspects are understood, worked on, etc...

By the way, the only person that will RUIN the child because of Asperger's are those who do NOT understand it...those who do or are actually proud of it and see it as a huge gift, will NOT ruin the child. The child might, for once in his life feel understood 100%....

ZX10R's picture

My step-son possibly has Aspergers. During the whole mess with my wife's divorce, a social worker mentioned that it may be possible he has it.
We are aware that he has dyslexia but he excels GREATLY in mathematics. Socially, he is a bit awkward but perfectly normal around those he feels comfortable with.

Over the next few months, we plan to "officially" have him tested (if that's even the right way to phrase that).

Embrace it! I mean heck, he is better in math than I am... and I am a software engineer! I tell him that I'm going to teach him how to do what I do and farm off all my work to him!