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Joint custody and school

SisterNeko's picture

maybe I am wrong but if there is joint custody (physical and legal) shouldn't the school have to contact BOTH parents if they have questions/concerns?

BM called FDH this am to tell him that SS6's teacher emailed her and wants to get SS6 into summer school. Before that BM claimed ss4's teacher called her about something which turned out to be a lie. So we aren't sure what to believe when it comes to BM - lately we believe NOTHING she says, but still if she is lying again it wouldn't be shocking and if she isn't she didn't explain the reason behind them wanting him to go to summer school very well. grrr

I just don't see why they are only contacting BM.

Comments

Doesnteatcrow's picture

Same thing happened to us and the teacher had us send certified letters with the custody agreement to everyone in the district that had to do with him. So basically - carpet bombed them with the information. We have never had a problem since.

spunkiedolittle's picture

the SCHOOL will contact the primary (cp). however, they can't deny to talk to the ncp in joint custody, but (i've always had joint custody of my daughter, i'm primary) no school my daughter has been to has contacted us both, they relay messages to me, but provides REQUESTED info to her dad.

PrincessFiona's picture

The school 'can' contact either or both parent but they aren't likely to make it their burden to always contact both. In a joint custody siutation they can and often will contact one or the other and allow the parents to co-parent and inform where necessary.

Obviously either parent also has the right to follow up and make contact with the school to clarify.

I try to be very careful to not make my divorce/custody siutation someone else's problem. I think the minute school staff gets a whiff of contention between parents they back off and are less likely to cooperate with them to solve problems. They are hesitant to get involved in a possible tug of war between two parents.

Jsmom's picture

We had to go to the school and get back on the information website so we had access. BM removed us. Major pain in the ass. Because what she did even removed Bioson from our address....

Best thing to do is at the start of every year, talk to the teacher and get on her email list. All the teachers...Do not let up. Email every once in awhile to check in and make sure things are okay. Seems odd that a 6 year old would need summer school. She may be looking at trying to get some extra funds out of you.

If the 6 year old is struggling, look at a Montessori type program for the summer. That may really help. BS did montessori for years and when he got to Kindergarten, he was the only one reading and it was at a 3rd grade level. By 3rd grade it was at a ridiculous level...I absolutely love Montessori. We did their daycare program in the summer for serveral years after he started school and enrolled him in summer programs that focused on learning.

SisterNeko's picture

Everything make sense and is in par with what I was thinking. I think our School has her as primary which wouldn't be an issue but... we have and continue to have issues with her not telling us EVERYTHING. She just tells us what she wants FDH to hear. So we do call the school now to confirm.

This year is almost over but I am going to make a mental note for next year. We make it a point to go to the Open house at the start of the school year so that I can introduce myself to the teacher and staff but this year we had an issue when BM showed up at the same time we did and followed us around,interjecting herself into our all conversations. Next year we are going to try to 'miss' her. I told FDH not to be afraid to tell the teachers that he feels that he isn't being told everything.

Thanks you guys for the input.