BM hogging our parenting time
Yet again, BM is taking SS to do something on OUR time and so he won't be over to our house until later than he is supposed to be. This happens ALL the time. She has them 2/3 of the time - can't she run her errands and schedule their appointments when she has them?? IT's ridiculous.
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tell her no. file a contempt
tell her no. file a contempt of court. Really easy to do. every time she goes against the court order file. It is your parenting time not hers. It isnt fair for the child that doesnt get to see the other parent as much. If there is an appoint that has to be on your time (highly unlikely) then your SO can take his child. he is also a parent.
The problem with this is DH
The problem with this is DH would NEVER do this. They have joint legla custody so she is supposed to be consulting on educational and medical decisions but she doesn't. SS just showed up with braces one day - DH had no idea - but then of course she asked us for money. She just helped SS enroll in his classes for next year - they were supposed to go to som parent meeting - but BM had already taken care of it. How is he supposed to be part of their lives when she is constantly trying to be in control?
The only person who can stop
The only person who can stop this is your SO/DH. He just tells her NO.
My DH would grumble about missing time with his sons until I pointed out the ONLY way to get them is to say "NO!" Sure, his ex would bleat on about them missing out on seeing faaaammmiillllyyyy.... but DH told his sons "Your mother sees you a lot more than me. She can schedule her special time with you on her time or we can swap days. She only has to ask!"
As BM was used to getting her own way she was NOT happy but as this was within the decree she didn't have a leg to stand on and paid the price for being snotty and ignoring DHs right to parent his sons.
He will never tell her no.
He will never tell her no. It's just not in his vocabulary with her.
DH needs to put his foot down
DH needs to put his foot down b/c little by little she will block him out of their lives. Incrementalism or death by a thousand tiny cuts. She will just keep pushing the envelope until it can be pushed no further and you will have a PASed out SS on your hands. It just gives her more time to run her PAS campaign.
Don't make the same mistake that GG made despite myself and everyone else warning him. GG would always say "it's no big deal" when I questioned all the extra curricular activities scheduled on his time (at the time 45 min one way transport) and of course, without being consulted first. And then it was "Behemoth Family Reunions" and "National Cream of Bitch Day" you name it. She would indoctrinate them or say "see your dad was SUPPOSED to pick you up or be at XYZ activity but he didn't show."
This is what I am afraid of -
This is what I am afraid of - that she will blcok him out of their lives. DH sounds like GG in that I get mad when she schedules this crap but he doesn't think it's a big deal. SS doesn't want to come over as it is and she is just assisting him and making him hate his dad more
How are they supposed to talk and work things out if she is constantly trying to "win"?
If your DH doesn't think it
If your DH doesn't think it is a big deal..
well what for you to do..
If he doesn't want his own kid when he is suppose to..
there is nothing for you to do..
I would raise my eye brows though!
I don't think it is a matter
I don't think it is a matter of not wanting his kid - I think it is more about letting her do what she wants.
That is an excuse.. If he or
That is an excuse..
If he or anyone else WANTED their child
they would do what ever they could within their
power..
he is taking the easy way out!
Yeah, maybe you are right. I
Yeah, maybe you are right. I don't know.
also with it in writing that
also with it in writing that he doesnt approve of it with 50/50 custody. He is not required to pay for it....At least in my state.
BM lost $600 last summer because she tried to pull the he needs to reimburse me crap to the judge. she claimed that both kids were in the camp (they didnt allow children under 3) and she claimed to have already paid $1200....But their was no record. HAHA. Document EVERYTHING
Did he confront her on the
Did he confront her on the texting?
I really wish DH would set some limits. But I think he is so scared of being the bad guy - to her and the kids. When the kids go to her house, which sometimes can be for a week, we do not hear boo from them. But if they are at our house for one night, they are calling her or texting her about something.