BM moving away?
We've had our ups and downs with BM to say the least.
Last night she informed us she might be moving away. Across the entire country away.
I was torn between doing a jig because her style is so different (late bedtime, junk food, non-stop video games) and being further away would mean less influence, and worrying how it would work with SS7.
He's expressed he wishes she lived closer so he could spend more time with her (though he's quick to note he doesn't want to live with her). For her to move away and him to get less time will hurt him so bad, and I don't want to see him hurt.
So while I'd love her to be far far away ... I don't think it's in SS7's best interest.
Furthermore how will it work. She sees him on major breaks from school (there's 3) and gets all of summer instead of most of it? Who pays for the flights? How often are we expected to let him go. He can't fly alone, now what?
So many questions ... and probably for nothing ... chances are it's another airy-fairy moment that won't pan out.
- Choosingtolove's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Ugh, that is a crappy
Ugh, that is a crappy situation. It sounds like you have SS's best interests at heart, unlike his BM. Go figure, right? Also, I really like your username.![Smile](https://prod-cdn-1.ststatic.com/sites/all/modules/contrib/smiley/packs/kolobok/smile.gif)
Dad has custody. BM is moving
Dad has custody. BM is moving away. She has visitation. We've always been the stablizing force, which is why I'd like her to move in some ways, because when he goes there she totally messes up his routine. Ie she has none, or no obvious ones. This is a woman who will wake her kids up at 1 a.m. because she feels like going for a drive. People with ADD esp. need extra tight scheds. so they know exactly what's up. Any little thing can throw off their entire day.
I'm not sure it should be 50/50. We aren't moving halfway across the country and she makes a point of mentioning often how much their family makes. To send him across country roundtrip 4 times a year will be a little over $2,000 as he'd be going at peak travel time. With two other kids this would totally be a financial burden on us. At one point we discussed moving and decided that it would cost too much to send him (as we assumed we'd foot the travel bill). Now he's established in school and the second is only a year away from school.
We have skype and a mac so it's got a built in camera.
Would she not have to start
Would she not have to start paying CS? If so & you don't need every penny of it, you could save some up to purchase your halves of the tickets with.
She stopped working to have
She stopped working to have kids with her new husband so she now pays only $50/month because she has basically no income ... I didn't realize your responsibility to your first kid stopped when you had more, but apparently that's the case ...
My x moved away and the court
My x moved away and the court ordered that since it was his choice to move, he wad 100% responsible for all travel costs. I think your situation would be the same
Thank goodness he has you ad a mom.
sounds reasonable. As the
sounds reasonable. As the main custodial parents we're not moving. We chose not to move at one point because we didn't want to move him farther from his mom. Now she might which is her choice (as a mom I don't agree with it but each mom is different), but I think she should pay for the main trips.
My issue is more that as someone under 12 he can't fly by himself ... should be interesting to see what she'd propose for THAT