It's been a glorious 11 days without SD...
She comes home from BM Sunday night and then we are back to our regular routine. I feel guilty saying it but I haven't even really noticed her being gone nor have I missed her one bit. Life is so easy with just my husband and I. When SD is in our home things are hectic and unpredictable. I can't wait for SD to grow up already!! But knowing her needy self, she will probably be calling for DADDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY to help her with every damn thing well into her teens. The kid is almost 9 and she stills asks for help on things she knows years ago now how to do herself. She doesn't give my husband an INCH of breathing room. From when we wake up until we go to sleep she needs his attention. She NEVER EVER plays by herself. She has a TV with a DVD player and every game and toy she has ever wanted but do you think she plays with it or ever sets foot in her room other than to sleep? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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We havent seen the SD's since
We havent seen the SD's since before Christmas and it's been glorious! Our streak ends this weekend though. Luckily I have made plans to go visit my mom and friends already.
I didn't miss them one bit either and am truly an evil stepmother because I tried to tell DH "What's the point of getting them this weekend if you have to work anyway? We should just get them next time." He saw right through my "concern" though and said he would just work from home.
OMG...you sound like ME!!! I
OMG...you sound like ME!!! I have told my DH the same thing!!! Especially since my SS can't stand to be around me cuz I won't leave him alone with my kids (his half siblings) because if he's alone in a room with them for more than 5 minutes one of my kids gets hurt "ACCIDENTALLY" of course!! Or he tells my BD that my DH is HIS dad and HIS mom was married to him first. I made it a point to let him know that his MOTHER was never married to MY husband. I don't miss him when he's not around either...and I wouldn't care if I NEVER saw him again!! With that said, I guess I am and evil stepmother too!!! Slowly realizing I'm not alone...apparently there are quite a few of us on here...I'm happy to see that I'm not crazy...LOL...I mean we can't ALL be nuts right??!
My Skids were gone for a week
My Skids were gone for a week recently and I swear it was like the best vacation ever. I LOVE LOVE LOVE when they are gone, I can breathe and like I have my own home that I am comfortable in. It just feels like sweet home.
They came back and it felt like alien invaders arrived... vacation over. Back to avoiding people in my own home.
Amen and hallalua...it is so
Amen and hallalua...it is so peaceful and nice when SD goes to a friend's for the weekend. DH would never admit it but I know he appreciates the peace to...how could he not. The other day when she was gone overnight and came back the next day with all her little friends in tow...he looked out the window and did a big sigh (not of relief) when he saw them running to the door...so I know it gets to him.
StepOnMe, Unfortunately, you
StepOnMe, Unfortunately, you have a LONG way to go with SD(9). My SKids are all out on their own now. It has been great! Got 3-Skids when they were in their teens (what was a I thinking?). Still have some 'issues' when they come to visit. They still seem to think they can do whatever they want in my home, cause daddy lives there and he can never say "no". But I have learned to say "no" for the both of us now. I include his name in all my statements now - without even consulting him. ("No, you're father and I would rather you not do that." or "Your father and I think it would be better if...")
I had a needy SD too. Your "DADDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" made me cringe, because I could hear it in my head and she is in her late-20s and still does that {{{shudder}}}. If you don't try to attempt to curb her neediness now, it is going to be increasingly difficult when she gets older (I pray for your teenage years!)
You might have to be the one to say to the little cherub, "you know, your father and I both think you can do that yourself. We think you need to go and try and then if you need help, you can ask." You may actually have to gently, guide her out of the room to go wherever it is she needs to do. If you start gently voicing your directness with her and include your husband in the statement, a couple of things could happen. 1) Your husband will question you about you including him in the statement (and you can tell him you feels it is better if the simple directives came from both of us to her - no just SM perspective), 2) he may be releived that you are handling the child and removing him from having to do something or 3) he may start to see that he was being taken for a fool by SD and actually start directing her to do stuff she can do on her own.
I truly believe the bottom line is that SD(9) wants all the attention and thereby leaving none for you. They may be small - but they are smart and can be manipulative. I look forward to seeing what happens.
I agree with Miss-Step. My
I agree with Miss-Step. My SD is 12 going to be 13 in a couple of weeks. She is just like you described your 9yr old SD. It will not get better unless she is taught differently. SD doesn absolutely nothing on her own!!! She is up SO's butt the entire time she is home. I retreat to my bedroom because I can't stand to be around it sometimes. Hearing the DADDDDDYYYYYYYYYY makes me :sick: He has stopped catering to her every need and slowly she has gotten a little bit better. He no longer has to turn on the shower for her or blow dry her hair :jawdrop: She no longer sits in his lap to fall asleep every night :sick: So we have made some progress forward.
We must have the same
We must have the same SD...lol mine is 11 and does everything you described...the most annoying needy kid you could ever imagine....