Do you leave a room empty when it could be used?
Here is the situation. We (my husband, 2 yr old, and I) live in a comfortable house. His daughter 10 is with us 50% of the time. Currently everyone has their own room all on the same floor. We are now pregnant with our 2nd child and I would like his daughter to move into the finished bedroom in the basement which was finished 2 1/2years ago for DH son that no longer visits and sadly only used the room for a total of 15 days. DH says that his daughter 10 is not ready to have her room in the basement because we just barely got her to sleep alone without crying last year (her mom still sleeps with her so each week we fight with the crying on the first night still.) DH thinks that our 2 children should bunk up together. This I do not have any issues with except that there is a perfectly good usable room downstairs and then nobody would have to share. I am also hesitant with the fact that while 2 kids bunk up in one room the other room remains empty ½ the time. I suggest that our 2 year old move to the bedroom in the basement (not that this is ideal) and DH said that was fine.
So my questions are:
1. Am I out of place for saying that all rooms can and should get used?
2. Why should the 2 share a room that are there 100% of the time? Yes I do realize there is a huge age gap but really why couldn’t they have their own room at least 50% of the time.
3. Why is it OK for a 2 year old to sleep in the basement but not a 10 year old?
2 yr old in the basement?
2 yr old in the basement? HELL NO! What happens when he wakes up in the middle of the night, does DH want him/her climbing the stairs to come find you? Even if SD10 wakes up in the night, she's old enough to safely seek you out if need be.
OTOH it does suck for SD10 to be displaced to the basement, so I wonder if there is a way you guys can make it fun for her. Emphasize that she will be getting her own space away from the little sibs and maybe let her choose a new paint color or change up the curtains or something like that. Leave the hall light or stairway light(s) on for her at night and make sure it's a cozy and safe-feeling space for her.
Another consideration - is
Another consideration - is the newborn going to be in your room for the first few months? That would give SD time to adjust/gradually move her stuff down to the basement bedroom.
I don't like the idea of kids
I don't like the idea of kids sleeping in the parents room for a solution. I am okay with the sick or special occassions but other than that I think kids should be in their own space. Plus I love my time alone with DH.
To clarify, I wasn't
To clarify, I wasn't suggesting that you bunk with the kid permanently. I was saying for the first few months of the baby's life. But if you're not into that, that's fine too. I have just heard some parents do this because newborns need so much tending to do during the night that it disrupts the parents' sleep less to not have to go into the baby's bedroom to soothe/feed/etc them.
Can the baby sleep in your
Can the baby sleep in your room for awhile, then share with the 2 year old?
I wouldn't be ok with putting my kid in the basement. If I had to, I'd wait until she were a teen.
Totally agree with Disneyfan.
Totally agree with Disneyfan. If she were a bit older I think it would be a perfect solution. But at 10 and she has issues with sleeping alone already, I think it would be problems for sure.
Not any more!!!
Not any more!!!
So your husband said it was
So your husband said it was ok for a 2 year old to be in the basement, but not his 10 year old??? What does that tell you?
Leave it up to the child on
Leave it up to the child on whether she wants a big girl room in the basement or if she wants to share with the 2 year old. Easy enough.
I like this idea. But if you
I like this idea. But if you really want her in the basement-you could build up to how awesome it will be. Let her stay in the 2 year olds room for now, but say things like, when you get more mature we will let you have your own room in the basement to decorate because teens need their own space. You wouldnt even need to wait til she's a teen because you could just suddently recognize how mature she is. Also after sharing with the 2 year old for a bit she may find it very desirable to be in teh basement. Another option, could your room be in the basement. We have two bedrooms upstairs and one in the basement and that's where we stay. I know a lot of people dont like this arrangement, but we love it. Our kids were small when we moved there even. My kiddos were pretty good about sleeping thru the night. When they were very young we just kept a monitor in their room and a gate on the stairs. We were able to have "adult" space and it is very nice.
So a 10 yr old is not ready
So a 10 yr old is not ready but a 2 yr old is? WTH?? I agree with Foxie... Put a daybed in the baby's room. Or have your SD share with the 2 yr old. There's NO reason to disrupt your 2yr old's sleep with a baby when SD is only there 1/2 time.
I would allow the 10 year old
I would allow the 10 year old to take the basement bedroom. I would play up the greatness of it and allow her to choose the decor.
Then i would take the 2 yr old kid bedroom and decorate it 2 yr old style. Throw a flimsy mattress on the floor for the 10 year old, and when she complains about it, say "you have a bedroom." Etc...but i would make sure to remind the 10 year old when need be that, that is the 2 yr old room. Not THEIR room.
And keep refocusing on the 10 year old bedroom. She wants to bring toys in the bedroomm? No, this is 2yr old bedroom. Your toys belong in your room. Etc...
I would give the SD the
I would give the SD the basement br, but allow her to sleep upstairs with the 2 yr old. Even a simple mattress on the floor would be fine. She will move downstairs when she's ready.
My DS10 has slept in the
My DS10 has slept in the basement since he was 7 when my mom needed to move in as she could not do steps. He was fine. I would not put a 2 yr old downstairs, if princess is not "old enough" she can share with the 2 yr old. Who in their right mind would want a sleep deprived cranky 2 yr old?
I say make the basement "her
I say make the basement "her room", but let her sleep in a bed in the 2 yr old room. During the day the 2yr olds room should be his and how alone, and the basement should be treated as her room. At night she is only allowed to sleep in the bed in the 2 yr old room. Her clothes, and all her things should be in the basement. I would give her an 7 am (or whatever works for your house) wake up time to e out of the toddlers room and downstairs to the basement to get dresses for the day. When she gets tired of the back and forth or the early wake up time, she can move to the basement full time.