SD 35 has called her father only a few times this year. SD 35 and H have not spent ANY time together this past year - for years actually. H has not attempted to call SD 35 on his own initiative this year at all. This behavior/lack of a relationship is the residual continuation of H's stepadults refusal to talk to H in an attempt to blackmail him into giving them some of his mother's estate when she passed away 4 years ago. The stepadults story or reasons for all of thier expresed and displayed hatred have continually changed over the years but this is the event and action that started it all.

H and SD 35 have met at Christmas the last couple of years to exchange gifts for our younger bios and her two children since the rift started. Initally we dropped off our gifts for the stepgramds and got nothing in return but once the step adults started trying to contact my bios behind our backs in every way imaginable they started sending a little $12-15 gift back with H at Christmas - usually the cheapest thing SD 35 could find and something that ended up in our donation pile. Birthdays for the bios went ignored by the step adults. Since she spent next to nothing on the gifts I did not ask H not to accept what she sent and he was afraid (again) that if he did not accept these gifts SD 35 would not let him bring a gift to the stepgrands.

For some reason SD 35 called this year and inquired what my bios would want - she never did this prior to this - just purchased something less than $15 that was often not even thier size. She also informed H that the stepgrands wanted gift cards this year and named the stores. I highly doubt that an 8 year old wanted a gift card for xmas but SD 35 told him that so H took care of it. Since H usually does no shopping, wrapping, etc. this ended up being a plus for me.

In return SD 35 sent gift cards for our bios. SD 35 doubled the $ amount she typically spent on her "beloved :sick: " half sisters and wrote on the card that the gift card was also a belated gift for their birthdays that were months and months ago and that went unacknowledged at that time except for a text message. :?

Right after Christmas my oldest bio was contacted by SD 35 with a lengthy FB message about how much SD 35 loves and misses her with comments about contacting her depite SD 35's refusal to speak to H and her ongoing hatred of me. My oldest bio felt SD 35 was trying to quilt her into calling to speak to her. My oldest bio did not respond. SS 36 sent both of our bios Merry Christmas texts but no message at all to H. Neither bio responded to SS 36 - they never have -despite his continued attempts to contact them.

SD 35 was asked by both my H and myself to not contact our bios behind our backs until they work out their issues with H on multiple occasions in the past. SD 35 and SS 36 know that I do not want contact between them and my bios so of course the step adults want to do anything they can that I would not like - hence the continued attempts at contact - plus they know they have burned all of their bridges with me so I really get the feeling that they now suddenly want a relationship with my bios so that they can manipulate them if something happens to me and or their father.

A day or so ago - SD 35 calls up H all pissy and wants to know if our bios received her "gift". I'm sure she was implying that I withheld them. Guess she just could not imagine that this generosity would not generate an immediate acknowledgement and relationship out of undying gratitude from my bios. Who does this? Who calls within a week of giving a gift insinuating a verbal thank you is owed immediately? How can SD 35, an educated woman, be so hypocritical? I have never once been called and told thank you for a gift sent to her, her brother, or her children. H never gets a thank you call when he sends $ for their birthdays etc etc etc.

FYI - just in case you were wondering, despite my making my bios write thank yous for gifts from others I have not made them write one to the stepadults (for the last few years since the s tep adults openly admitted their hate campaign) for several reasons: 1)I do not want my bios to be in contact with them, 2) the stepgrands and step adults have never thanked us for anything, and 3) I hoped that the stepadults would get mad, give up, and stop sending crap to my bios.

H got the impression that SD 35 was trying to illicit a thank you from our bios in her phone call to him - for him to come to that conclusion SD 35 had to have come on pretty damn strong as H not only does not "get" subtle inuendos - you practically have to hit him over the head with a two by four for him to understand - just saying. I assume that SD 35 was implying that since she did so much this year by doubling the amount and saying she acknowledged their birthday - she deserved a reply from my bios. My oldest bio said she got this same impression from SD 35's email.

In response, oldest bio wants H to tell SD 35 that she does not want to be placed in the "middle of this". My impression is that delusional SD's envisioned fantasy did not play out meaning my bios did not play their roles sufficiently and contact her behind our backs and therefore SD 35 could not control her anger at my bios ingratitude so she called up fishing - hoping I withheld her stupid pathetic gift so that she could start throwing allegations and start another fight. Hence her phone call within a week of "gift giving". After all , in SD 35 and SS 36's delusional minds my bios would of course side with them over thier own parents because they gave them a "gift"!!! :sick:

I doubt that H will relay my bios message - he will probably soften the blow when or if he even tals to SD 35 so it does not even resemble my bios intent and SD 35 will never recieve the message. H claims he wants to call SD 35 back and get to the bottom of what he referred to as her "strange call". I doubt that he will as he avoids all confrontation.

Should I do anything or just ignore her continual attempts to access my bios? I hate to encourage my bios to not acknowledge a gift but I just can not bring myself to make them write her. There is no way in hell I would ever make them talk to her.

I can just envision it - the stepadults and BM all sitting around her kitchen table blasting me and my bios for lack of appropriate manners - after all, the BM and her minions get to decide which manners apply, to whom, and when.

I think that SD 35 and SS 36 should first practice what they and BM preach.