I haven't seen SD18 since Christmas Day 2010, so I haven't posted much, but I do read here often. The long and short story is we have had very limited contact with SD since age 15 because we had rules and insisted on good grades. Those things didn't apply at BM's house and SD was already running with a rough crowd and so we only saw her for Christmas and her birthday for several years (so she could get presents, she would never attend anyone else's party). Shortly after turning 18 this year, she dropped out of high school and moved in with her boyfriend. DH spent several weeks trying to track her down for her birthday and took her to lunch to say essentially, "I'm done chasing after you and you know where to find us if you want to have a relationship with us."

I'm happy to never see SD again ever. But as they say with step kids, they never really go away. I monitor SD18's facebook page in order to be prepared for when her partying and drug filled existence catches up with her and impacts us. I recently noticed her facebook relationship status has changed and the boyfriend is no longer even a friend on her page. Can only guess that romance has run its course. Which has me wondering if SD will try for some contact at Christmas in order to get some gifts/money (she never gives gifts, ever). DH did send her an email to let her know his health insurance was changing Jan. 1 and that we would be at in-laws the afternoon of Christmas Day, but her only response was to ask that he send the insurance cards.

I had a nightmare last night that DH and I went to my family's ski cabin for a holiday break get-away and when we arrived we found SD was living in the cabin post boyfriend break up and had trashed the place (in my dream, she knew where we kept the spare key, which I do remember showing her one day way back when I was trying to teach her to ski). Basically the dream was my deep dark fear of having to deal with a now drug addicted adult step daughter. I think my subconscious is playing with my worries about another Christmas being ruined by SD, the possibility she broke up with boyfriend and will want a place to live, and my concerns about her drug use.

So now I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and it is ruining my excitement for what I hoped would be my first Christmas with DH that didn't involve SD drama! I know many of you deal with so much more on a daily basis. However, this just goes to prove that the sick worrying knot in your stomach that step kids or BM create can be pushed aside for a time, but it never goes away. You always have to wonder when that other shoe is going to drop and the drama will start again in earnest.