I have an SD 13 who has a very controlling and bitter BM. DH and I have SD every other weekend and during school holidays and we get on reasonably well (when SD isn't playing up). BM dictates which weekends SD comes over and is forever switching weekends and making us change our plans (DH hardly ever says no to her demands). BM is very melodramtic and turns everything into a drama, SD once had an petty argument with DH, SD said she wanted to go home (at about midnight, on her own, halfways across town, so DH said no) and BM ended up calling the police! She spreads rumours to DH's family about how DH & I leave SD out of things and how we don't care about her. I'm having a baby and when DH mentioned to BM that as we are looking after SD for a few weeks around my due date, if I went into labour, she would have to go home. BM refused and said that she could just go to the hospital with us, how is a hospital an appropriate place for a 13 year old?? BM well and truly has DH's family under the thumb and they believe whatever she says, so much so that I now avoid going over there more than a few times a year because she will either have invited herself over at the same time or will have told them some nasty rumours about us.

Now I'm having my own first child I'm starting to wonder just how much more I can take. I know that pregnancy can make people over emotional (and I'm not normally a very emotional person) but I'm starting to wonder whether I would be better off on my own without all the problems to deal with. I knew that DH had a daughter when we got married and thought that everything would work out fine, but after 3 years I'm now wondering whether I made a really big mistake thinking that I could handle it. I've always been supportive of DH & SD's relationship and always will be, but now I've realised that means having to put up with his ex's demands, bitterness and hurtful comments for the rest of my life. BM already makes SD feel bad about herself - there have been a number of times that she's made SD cry because she's been mean - e.g. on the day after our wedding she refused to let SD go home ad planned because she wanted to go out clubbing instead. When BM kicks off the whole atmosphere in the house gets tense, and if I feel really uncomfortable, I'm worried that my baby will feel the same and I don't want the baby growing up in the middle of a warzone.

Has anyone else had the same problems?