I have to admit- I've done the same thing with my BF (even after 4.5 years). It is not out of distrust in HIM but I think it's to satisfy my own curiosity about what him and his EX text each other. (which doesn't happen often). I can tell you from experience- even though this isn't a big deal- it is going to Fester inside you if you don't find a way to bring it up to him.

For the longest time(4 years!), my BF kept his Blackberry "locked" so I couldn't get into his phone. I never locked my phone- I always felt we could be open because I've had nothing to hide. The fact that he kept his phone locked always made me MORE curious to find out what was so damn important that I wasn't allowed to see. It's only been the last 6 months or so that he stopped "locking" his phone. I think I finally brought the subject up to him in a casual conversation in the car- and I guess it made him think.

The problem with "snooping" is that we always end up finding "something" that is going to piss us off or that is going to hurt us. Back in August, I found some txts between him and the EX ( a few weeks after the "earthquakes in VA)- that she txt him making him feel guilty that he didn't even call to see if she was okay. (Even tho at the same moment- he was sleeping in his van at work- and "rocked" awake!) She proceeded to ask him who he had listed as his "emergency contact" in case something happened to him and he gave her some vague answer- like " I think you and my parents". I was furious. Last May, we signed Power of Attorney Papers for each other in order to declare that we were "domestic partners" and responsible for Each other- in every aspect including medical and financial. I let this fester inside for a few days- when I finally asked him about it. He blew it off and said that his ex is "real emotional" right now and he didn't want to hurt her feelings and start any sort of fight over it.

I say try to find a "casual" way of bringing up this subject to him- in a way that is non-threatening but in a way that gets your point across. I know how easy it is to spew venom sideways when we're trying to talk about the EX and hurtful comments made about US that should not have been made- but you have to find a way to keep your composure.

BBGF

I looked at SO's phone the other night, because he was sleeping and it kept beeping. Found out he's paying SD18's dentist bills, yet lied to me and said she was fully covered under BM's insurance, without any copay. The lying about it is was bugs me the most, not necessarily the money (even though she PAS'd out and quit visitation a couple of years ago, lives with BM, works part time, does not go to school, no driver's license, and should be able to pay her own bill).

I've not said anything about it, but it's bugging the crap out of me. Why did I have to look??