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What do you think???

Newbie_step's picture

Submitted by Newbie_step on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 4:21pm

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Step/Bio Father's Den

My DH refers to my SS10 as Sweetie??? :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
I mean it just rubs me the wrong way.... is it me?? am I being an evil step mom?? I mean... I know mom's usually say things like that... but when you are a dad???? I don't remember my ex husband calling our boys sweetie... seriously... it it me??

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 4:54pm

I think it's a bit weird. And Frieda I'm assuming your a woman-makes it a little bit less weird. Maybe that's the wrong way to look at it-but that's the way I see it. I call my kids all sorts of little nicknames but rarely do I call them any sort of endearment like that. My dh likes to call my ss13, "buddy" it makes me want to vomit. My ss13 is not his buddy, does not wish to see dh, does not ever call him, or even acknowledge him on fathers day, bdays, xmas. Doesnt sound much like a "buddy" to me.

On another note-sometimes I do think I am just being a bit of an asshole. He will call my son, 12, buddy sometimes too-which I think is sweet :).

Lauren1438's picture

Submitted by Lauren1438 on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 6:41pm

if he refers to you as sweetie then yes it is. I don't get why the line is blurred with some men on daughter vs. lover. There are some defiant lines and for some reason some men just dont see it that way, even my FDH is guilty of it. I am in the process of opening his eyes to how the rest of the world acts regarding matters like that.

cant win for losin's picture

Submitted by cant win for losin on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 8:30pm

Dh calls SS "honey" sometimes. And i think its very weird! It doesnt sound right.

newbiemommy's picture

Submitted by newbiemommy on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 9:13pm

My SO calls SD10 "mama" "baby" and "baby girl" and still kisses her on the mouth for bedtime kisses. He used to let her sleep in his room but it was me or her. I find all this SO icky. He calls me babe and mama. So him calling her the same things just really rubs me wrong. I hate it!

Lioness77's picture

Submitted by Lioness77 on Sun, 11/27/2011 - 4:52pm

I completely understand how much this disgusts you... my FDH and I got together four years ago when his daughter was 9. She would have to have him lay with her before bed ( shudder ), until last year would sit on his lap, he STILL calls her honey, babe and many other names that make my skin crawl, mostly because in the very next sentence he calls me the same thing!!!! Truly Pisses me off.. I've made side comments before such as " we need separate pet names, that's just wrong " to no avail.. I don't think the Dads get it. You can't call the SD and love interest the same name..
Also. It really ticked me off when I saw him ( even still ) slap his daughter now 13 on the butt and even his ex stepdaugter.. he does this with me as a sexual / flirtation thing and I lose it when he does it with those brats...

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 9:16pm

No, it's not just you. I'm trying very hard to imagine DH calling his son that when he was a child, but it's just not computing. blech.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Submitted by Madam Hedgehog on Tue, 10/25/2011 - 10:15pm

wow. i guess we are the nickname household.

DH calls both SS5 and SS2 all sorts of nicknames, some more endearing than others, including: bumblebee, bud, buddy, baby boy (ss2), big boy, little boy, camaroon (shrimp in spanish?), kiddo.

I call them: butter, buster, mister man . . .

nicknames seem to be a way of life here. how odd.

harleygirl's picture

Submitted by harleygirl on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 6:24am

YUUUUCK no mouth kisses!! anyway I agree it's kinda weird hearing a man say things that are mostly feminine to another person other than their SO. My DH calls ss lil man or bubba. I'm the same I use Bud for my boys mostly if I called my teenagers anything else they'd freak out Blum 3

KirbyKat's picture

Submitted by KirbyKat on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 6:42am

We use tons of nicknames and terms of endearment in our house, so I guess I don't think it's weird.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 6:58am

Baby, mama, poppy, honey, baby girl, sweetie...are all just terms of endearment.

I think it's cute when uses these terms with his girls.

dragonfly5's picture

Submitted by dragonfly5 on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 9:50am

We are a "suck face family" very physical.
FSD11 kisses me on the mouth. So do my god kids. And we use lots of terms of endearment. SS14 puts his arm around my neck and says hey dragonfly. That's his level of affection. Everyone has a different level of comfort. Heck, my sister and I kiss each other.

My SO's nephew is 17 and I call him HON he thinks it is funny. He likes the attention. Fsd11 is sweet pea and fss14 is muffin.

I think everyone's family dynamic is different. It just has to work for you.

DW's picture

Submitted by DW on Fri, 10/28/2011 - 12:28pm

It's just a pet name. And it's totally sexist that a boy can't be referred to as "sweetie" by a father.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Fri, 10/28/2011 - 12:35pm

SO calls SD babe, babygirl. I get annoyed by babe because he calls me that too. I guess I just need to say something, but its the least of our issues right now.

He calls SS a lot of different things
baby boy is one of them. He's called him babe too. Its all weird to me.

It seems more like babying a child instead of treating them like they will be adults, but maybe that's just me.

NotSureAnymore's picture

Submitted by NotSureAnymore on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 9:13pm

I dont think the terms of endearment are a problem... parents make up so many names for their kids... and some are just not creative.. my SS14 calls himself Bob Nuggets... and various other things. My partner doesnt refer to his kids as 'babe... baby' however he still refers to himself as Daddy AND THEY still call him Daddy... I never called my dad, daddy, or i stopped after i was 7. I think its just what they are used to... even though daddy seems harmless i feel like it brings on a kind of "im still a baby mentality" ... and they are 10, 11 and 14. It doesnt FREAK ME OUT... but it does make me think they're too old to call him that. I dunno maybe just me...
I get the 'irkiness' factor of using the same terms of endearment for SK's that is used for their partners ... but i think people just 'grow up' with these terms and carry it onto their own family. Just discuss this further with your partner and see if they are prepared to change the terms around... or just refer to you with different terms of endearment.