I would not recommend it. Believe me that we ALSO noticed a completely different child every time we saw my DHs kid. With different homes, different rules, different points of view...well, it's going to happen. They get used to doing things one way, and believe me I understand sometimes it's the WRONG way, and then they come to your house trying to adjust to new rules. But the fact is that it's not up to us to stop that visitation, unless there is true harm being done. And by true harm I mean drugs in a house, beatings, etc...

Of course schools want perfect kids, and thus anything to make THEIR life easier they will suggest...but at the end of the day, that is not necessarily what is best for the kids.

I would thread lightly on this. It could be considered PAS, although of course, most of our DHs have already experienced that and the courts do not do much about it anyway. But at the end, it is the kids who suffer when they don't have time with a parent, even if that parent is not what we think a parent should be.

I'm sorry about you having to go through dealing with "different kids" once they return from visitation. Saying that however, my Skids (7 & 9) see their BM for less than ONE week per year...and they STILL come back completely turdized & horrendous.

No matter how much or little time they have with her, they are atrocious butt heads for months after seeing her.

The behavior that both SS9 & SD7 have upon returning is also noticed by anyone who knows them...everyone makes comments about it, has issues with it but there is NOTHING that anyone can do to fix it.

Even their therapist HATES it when they visit BM...that says quite a bit if you ask me!

Sadly though, it's part of being the custodial SM when BM is a jackass.

Ah the joys!

Are the skids having a difficult time adjusting between two different homes or do you think BM is doing Parental Alienation? Both can come across as having screwed up kids but PAS is extremely bad behavior from the skids with a parent poisoning the children against the other parent.

In our case BM was found by the court and the forensic psychologist that she is guilty of PAS. BM did this to her daughter 12 and youngest son 10. The Judge stated against her better judgement, she would give BF 50/50 custody, but if BM continued she would reverse custody.

BM still didn't get the "memo" (LOL) and continued the alienation with the daughter. SD did so much damage to material things, our family life, called cops, ran away etc. It was really bad, BF told BM that she could keep her, since she was obviously not going to coparent with him. We gave the summer a rest and took the time to regroup the home. The SS's liked the fact they had a break from SD. Now, BM has stepped up her game and is alienating SS11. We have filed to go back to court and we are looking to reduce her time with the SS's.

The DVD Welcome Back Pluto is a really good educational DVD on Parental Alienation. You can order it on Amazon. Maybe if you watch it, you can see what is actually going on with the skids. Alienation is starting to be taken seriously in the court system because they want to stop the conflict the children endure with the parent that is alienating. The parent that doesn't do the alienating is advocating in the best interest of the children. Good Luck