Depressed Teen and I dont care attitude
I can use some words of wisdom pertaining to my situation. I have a SD16 and 2 biological kids. I have been in SD life since she was 6 and we officially became a family when she was 12. In the beginning it was fine cuz BM was out of pic. A yr lata BM asks for visitation and judge granted it. Long story short she got about as much visitation as if she were the custodial parent! last yr DH and I believed thatBM was coaching SD to call cops on us and CPS as we tried to show her their were consequences for her actions. Naturally, CPS immediately dropped all 3 cases. Shortly afterwards we caved in and let the SD move in with BM since she created this monster of a child. Not 2 weeks go by and SD lives with Godmother. BM caused so much drama in house but when she had opportunity to raise her own, she passed the buck! SD stayed with Godmother for 10 mos but now she is back! DH wanted to give her second chance cuz her living with a non blood relative bothered him.
Now she has only been back for a month and I can count talks with her. I choose to stay away from her. She lies and is untrustworthy!
Hubby allows her to not do hmwk, not clean her room, no chores,hang out all day, weekends she sleeps ova a friend's house, and etc.
So my question is 'why isn't she happy? She still mopes around the house as if we did something to her! Last night she came home 1 hr past curfew. No one said anything to her. This morning and she lies and says there's no school when they was! DH caught her in lie and she moved as slow can she could leaving out house. To ensure that she doesn't hide out until we left, DH told her that top lock will b on door which she doesn't have key to so she had to visit a friend after school. She packs an overnight bag and leaves.
I believe that she is miserable and depressed. She will b 17 in jan so we r counting days. What more can we do? Everything she wants she gets but she is still not happy. Why would she want to fail grade 10 when she is about to be 17. What to do?
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Yes we truly believe she is
Yes we truly believe she is depressed. She can sleep for days end. She has no job or responsibilities but school. Don't get me wrong my DH raised her since she was 6 when BM got heavy in drugs and neglected her. Since then DH kept a tight leash on her. Like I said things were fine til BM came back into picture. She encouraged her to lie, manipulate, and sneak around a cell phone in our house! When DH disagreed with her actions there were consequences but like I said BM kept calling CPS and then manipulated SD to make up lies for guidance counselor to call CPS as well. Again all allegiations were dismissed immediately as they saw an unruly teen that needed consequences.
So now a yr lata after I sent her to live with her mom (really her Godmom) she is back. Now he doesn't have much rules cuz she doesn't accept adult authority too well. So we let her have free reign so she can experience the consequences of her actions. You fail you hurt yourself not us! I will have my master's degree in my hand in May so her life is impact by a lack of education. In other words the more we say NO the more the pushes buttons.
But the crazy part is everything has been yes this past 3 weeks yet she is still unhappy. She is out most of day and wknds! She sleeps and eats here only so why not be happy. That makes me think she is depressed.