What do They Have to Gain????
Stepadults (SD 35 and SS 36) are determined to contact my bio children. Step adults did not contact my bios before they started refusing to talk to their Father. As a matter of fact they never really paid much attention to my bios until after the ugly inheritance issue.
This has been going on for the past two-three years. Bios have ignored them when they tried to contact them for the most part. After adult SS 36 sent our oldest bio a nasty dirty x rated message and pic we had him blocked from both bios phones but you have to continually renew the block. H must not have continued it as my oldest bio who just started college just recieved a phone call from dear old SS 36 about 12 pm tonight. She would not take the call and instead immediately called her father wanting to know what was going on and to let us know he called her. Obio wanted to know if something had happened between her father and SS 36. H told Obio that he had not talked to either SD 35 in months and of course SS 36 WILL STILL NOT TALK TO HIM.
Why the hell would a 36 year old man want to contact a 17 year old this late at night - especailly one that he barely knows anything about. PERVERT??? It is not like they have a brother sister relationship and my oldest bio does not want one.
SS 36 is not the sharpest tool in the shed so it could be that he mistook her brithday for this week when she doesnt turn 18 for a few more weeks. SS 36 may figure that at 18 she will be an adult and we can not tell her not to talk to him. I'm not sure; however, the decision to not talk to him was oldest bios. As she put it - it is too little too late. OBIo has long observed that SS 36 always favored SD 35's children over my bios and never had much if anything to do with her or her sister. OBio feels that SS 36's pathetic attempts to connect now are simply to put her in the middle between SS 36 and her Dad. She resents this big time and wants nothing to do with him. Of course the disgusting email he sent to her last year is also something not to be forgotten.
SD 35 has also attempted contact. She continues to stalk OBIO on facebook continually requesting friend status. When not accepted as a friend she uses her daughter's page to stalk my bios. SD 35 even resorts to pretending she is her daughter to post comments on my youngest bio's wall. Ybio is on to this and will not respond to any email or text she sends even if through the grandstep.
One would think that with all of these failed attempts to connect that these idiots would get the message but - no - they contine stalking.
My question is what do they get out of this and why do they continue? Do they honestly think that a 17 or 18 year old wants a relationship with a middle aged half brother or sister that never before bothered to spend more than 10 minutes talking to them?
Do they think that they can get information from them or are they trying to negatively influence them regarding their relationship with their parents? SS 36 (according to ybio only calls when he wants to quiz them about what they are getting for a holday, birthday etc. Do they think that if they suck up now they can later guilt my bios into giving them some of my estate since I own most of everything worth anything and that is the only thing SS 36 ever bothers to call and rant about to his father?
Thoughts anyone?
Guess we will have to reinstitute the block! I mean, after all, we pay for OBios phone as well as everyting else so if he thinks we have no say now simply because she is turning 18, SS 36 better think again - he who pays has the last say! Like I said SS 35 not the sharpest tool .....
What a pain in the neck they
What a pain in the neck they are! How draining on you and your BKs to have to deal with such thick-skinned individuals.
Since they seem to be thick-skinned and since trying to avoid them is simply not working, as they keep coming back for more ... can you tell them very directly - STOP CONTACTING MY BIOS!
I know this will give them more "ammunition" to hold against you, but as we know, as SMs, absolutely anything can and will be held against us.
My middle aged steps and old
My middle aged steps and old dried up BM are so intent on getting at me that they would amp up the stalking more if I confront them. I think that an angry response from me (based upon what SD 35 said in our last conversation)would make the steps feel that they are getting what they want! It really is a no win situation until OBio gets fed up and tells them off! Since OBio has clearly told me her thoughts on this - if OBio pretends to get along for a while I think this putting up with them will soon get old for her especailly if they say inappropriate things about us or try to get too familiar. OBio is is the one who said too little too late in regards to a relationship with them and she is well aware of the fact that these greedy individuals wanted her to recieve no present when she was a child if they could not have the exact same thing. She also knows how they greedily went after their father's meager inheritance and did not give one thought to the fact that H had 4 children - two of which were minors at the time. Obio so far has allowed SD 35 to be a voyuer on her face book but she never answers her texts or calls. She shuns SS 36 after the nasy email and will not talk to him in any form at all.
But I do not think that the steps will ever be deterred in thier pursuit of bios until my bios get the courage to TELL THEM OFF. Obio is wise and being away at college she is getting wiser and is better able to stand up for herself now so I suppose other than blocking her phone it may be wiser for me to sit back and trust that she will eventually tell BOTH OF THEM OFF! Maybe if they actaully hear her say it then they will leave her alone. If not I suppose it will be time for a RA.
SA - I think your assessment
SA - I think your assessment is probably true - these ungrateful aholes are trying to use my bios to try to get back in with our family and to try to force me to include them in our functions again. It will not happen as it is my house and I will have no mmore to do with them.
The hateful middle aged steps have called me ugly names for too long and I will not put up with them for one more minute or spend one more dime on them again. If I don't mention any chance for allowing them back if they apologized and changed it is because I feel if they have not done so by now IT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!
AS YOU SAID - THEY WANT TO COME FLOUNCING BACK INTO MY HOUSE ON THEIR TERMS AND SHOW ME THAT I AM OF NO CONSEQUENCE EVEN IN MY OWN HOME. NEVER HAPPENING - NOT EVEN IF BY SOME FLUKE MY BIOS AGREE TO TALK TO THEM WHEN THEY ARE ADULTS!
IF THEY THINK THAT BY GETTING IN GOOD WITH MY BIOS THAT THEY WILL BE ABLE TO TALK MY BIOS INTO GIVING THEM SOMETHING THAT I LEFT THEM AS INHERITANCE - ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THEY OBVIOUSLY DONT KNOW MY BIOS VERY WELL! I DONT EVER SEE THAT HAPPENING! MY BIOS CAN NOT STAND THE WAY THE STEP ADULTS ACTED OVER THEIR FATHER"S INHERITANCE AND BIOS KNOW THAT I BOUGHT AND PAID FOR ALMOST EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE.
Whatever their father chooses to do regarding seeing them is between the step adults and him. I really coud care less - I just know I don't want to be a part of it and neither do my bios. MY bios are also tired of how ugly the steps have been to all of us. It is not our fault that the middle aged steps have now even overplayed their hand with their own father........Even H has gotten tired of only being talked to if they want something or want to blame him for something. Not my fault - but of course in stepadult world it is - after all I am the scapegoat who has been vilified all of these years because their father had them tell me good bye after EOWE visits when they were young and because (heaven forbid) I made the rules for my own house!!!
SD 35 is playing on the old relationship that I had allowed with her children and my bios some 3 years ago. Although my bios have not seen the children except for summer camp they still care for them. This connection has diminshed thankfully as my bios are older and time has passed but they would never want to hurt the stepgrands for example by defriending them on facebook even though they know that SD35 and SS 36 spy on them through it.
I now regret the decision to let them get as close as they now are. SA be forwarned about this given your status.
Interestingly, SD 35's husband has 2 half sisters that are between the ages of my bios yet neither SD35, her H, or the stpegrands are friends with either of them on facebook and these girls have almost 1000 friends!
Wonder what this means???? Why is it not just as important to bug the shit out of Sd35's H's half sisters???? The only obvious answer is old dried up vindictive BMMMMMMMMMM 60....
Hence my conclusion that this is all based upon jealousy and revenge against ME originating from BM 60 and being passed on to her middle aged spawn!!!!
I base this upon what SD 35 told me in our only marthon phone call - she told me that they ( SS 36, BM60 and herself)had discussed how smart I was but.... and how as a SM I was so safety conscious when watching them when they were little ( quess that is why they wanted to snare me to babysit the grandspawn so often) etc. Obviuosly I AM THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION WAY TOO OFTEN AT BM 60s KITCHEN TABLE and I would not be the continual topic if there was not some jealousy and bitterness there !!!!! BM60 obviously does not seem to hold the same level of bitterness for SD's H's SM.
You need to get a restraining
You need to get a restraining order on you bios behalf against your SD and SS. This is harassment and it is criminal if you've asked them to stop and it has continued. Hopefully it will get the message across, but if not, a $1000 fine and a day in jail for every infraction might get the message across better.