What to do when SS don't want to attend visitation
I am new to the forum and have been looking around for topics that pertain to my situation, and did not find any. It may be a rare situation that I am in but here goes. DH and I have been together for 11 years, married almost 9. SS and BM have had problems for years. SS expressed wanting to live with us at age 11, ran away from BM's house to ours at 12. BM agreed and signed papers at age 13 and he has been with us for 4 months. SS and BM still have problems getting along, SS just turned 14 and more and more he either tells her he don't want to come, which seems to be okay with her, or picks him up and as soon as any conflict begins calls me to come and get him. BM is supposed to get him Wednesday's and every other weekend. Since BM seems to not mind his not wanting the visitation time, should I let it go at that, or should I make it an issue that they have to spend this time together and learn to work out their difference. By the way, DH is a truck driver and most all of the parenting is left to me. I have SS in counseling to help work on the relationship with BM, but she refuses to attend. Should he stay or should he go? and am I the "bad guy" or in this case girl if I insist?
I'd leave it alone,
I don't see why you should be responsible for repairing BM's relationship with SS.
I wonder why they don't get along? Did something happen? It seems odd. Nonetheless I would just stay out of it and be there for SS when he needs you, I would be supportive of whatever SS chooses to do, he is growing up fast and will soon be making his own decisions and if he chooses not to have a relationship with BM then so be it, he must have his own reasons.
That and I wonder why bm's attitude is the way it is? Doesn't she care that her son doesn't want to be around her?
BM has control issues. That
BM has control issues. That seems to be SS's biggest problem with her. There was also abusive behavior in the home. Growing up myself in an abusive home I know that there can be changes made and forgiveness in the future. As for her attitude, I really can't answer for her on that. It remains to be one of many mysteries of hers that I will never understand.