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So Sick of MIL butting her big nose in!! God

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 10:32am

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So, DH has been in hospital and of course MIL has been helping with the 4 kids. I thank her for this and realize it would be very hard w/o her. But enough is enough; I will take help but don't take OVER. SD14 and I have been getting along for the past week; (we have been acknowleding each other) -
This morning MIL walks in and stands with SD and tells BS9 to take out the garbage........fine whatever - I let it go!(eventhough I could have handled that one)
Next, I go upstairs and come back down to find MIL has taken SD to school (she is fighting w/ her normal ride friends and talked her nana into doing it now); which neither of them told me about; I had to figure it out! Fine, let that one go.
Tonight I have to go to SD open house!! (her mother has plans!!)
Don't mind me who works full time and has 3 other children I have to find a sitter for to go to SD's open house.
Then I tell nana thank you but I have talked to MY mother and she can help out for the next couple of days..........Her reply....
"Okay, then I will take SD to get her supplies she needs for school tonight." WTHell - I didn't even know about that!! This is why SD and I can't get along becuase I have people who just don't get the picture! Stay out out of it or at least be the adult and run it past ME; the person who is at home w/ the kids taking care of everything!!

Sorry had to vent! It has been a long week w/o DH at home and hospital visits and then MIL rubbing me the wrong way! Thanks for listening. Do you think I am looking to much into it with MIL or not? It just seems like she throws SD in my face a lot??

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 10:36am

Let it go. Focus on other things...I would be thrilled if someone else wanted to do the back to school shopping and pay for it. Take the help when it comes. It is not necessarily in the form we need or like, but it is help and should be taken. I had a hard time with it to when my DH was sick. But, eventually I figured out that people want to help, they just are not sure how. You are on a heightened alert to this stuff, so just step back and breathe and let it go. If MIL wants to deal with SD, let her. One less problem for you.

Hell I would even ask her to do the Open House, so you can breathe a little bit. Just ask her to take notes...

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 11:18am

I will let it go........try to..It's when she starts parenting my kids that gets me wrong. and I already tried to get MIL to go to Open house - DH said NO!!

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 11:28am

It is the fact that MIL has done this since the beginning. MY Kids know that I must know what they are doing. MIL would have NEVER just left with my Bio's or assumed she was taking them to the store. I am a mother; help or no help - this is my house!? I will and always will take help; but I think MIL should have "told" SD to clear it w/ me first. I have been dealing w/ this for 12 years; I don't mind help but it's when the assuming starts that pisses me off!

A few months ago.....SD and BM would just make plans and let us know what "they" decided regardless of OUR plans. DH got upset and said that BM must consult him! How is this any different; just because I'm the SM??

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 11:37am

Why though? I wouldn't let her deal with my BD?

As a SM I am supposed to clean up for her, be there as her MOM figure, do what "mothers" do..........but I am not supposed to get upset when MIL tries to swoop in here?

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 12:50pm

It is different because the circumstances are different. She is trying to help. SD can ask for what she needs and MIL knows how to do it for her. I disagree with your husband, MIL should do the open house. He can't dictate from his hospital bed. My DH tried that and I told him, when you are home and dealing with everything you can have input. Right now I am doing what needs to be done the best way I can....

Just let her help and stop reading so much into it. You need to focus on DH. As for her telling you how to parent, why should she be any different than any other MIL...