Well it looks like my disengaging has to stop for awhile with SS13. It served it's purpose and gave me back my sanity after SD15 started being such a problem. But, now with the CO modification still in play for SS13, I need to step up a little however, it will be on my terms. I am going tonight to the Open House. I haven't gone since our kids were in the same school and even then it was for my son. But, BM and her DH will be there I am sure. DH wants me there since she does this bringing the SDad as a United Front. They have done this at the last two open house and registration for the SD15. I went by myself and ran into them for the HS. I didn't see a need to drag DH there, since he doesn't parent my child. But, she does, even though she is not involved at all at school. I am the one the volunteered for all the kids over the years as needed. Stopped for SD when I figured out she was volunteering me to make her mom look bad and playing it up to mom. Never again did I or will do anything for her.

We will be getting SS13 full time after we go to court later this month. I stay out of most everything with SS13 because I just don't want the hassle with DH. Well now since she will be out of his life, he needs a mom. DH has said it. I know it. But, I don't want to do that.

I have no interest in going to the Open House and really serve no purpose other than to be there so BM sees it. I know that. DH has been blatent about it. I have no interest in getting involved in SS's homework other than helping with spelling words. I helped this last week while DH was busy and taught him some tricks and he got a 95 on the test. So he sent me a text bragging. But, the next text told me that his mom bet him that he would get a C on his History test the next day. What kind of BM does that???? He sent a text back that he got a 98. I asked if he told his mom and he answered "u bet". He has really disengaged from that household and he is definitely waiting until she lets him live with us full time.

I will step up now and help once in awhile with SS13 as needed. But, I do not want to be his mom. He has one and if I was his mom, I guarantee he wouldn't be as anti-social as he is and he would be more focused on school and grades and would certainly not be as big a smart ass. He is 13, this is who he is. I can only assist in trying to modify the behaviors that drive me crazy, but they really are what they are.

He wants no visitation with his mother. That is one of the issues for the judge to decide. DH has agreed to EOWE and two weeks in the summer until he turns 14 in 9 months. Then it is up to SS13. I guarantee as mad as he is at her, it will be rarely. About as much as SD15 sees DH. Which in one year has been 4 times. We will not help her with him anymore than she has encouraged SD to see DH.

So I have been slowly re-engaging with SS. I find I am so nervous about what I do and what I don't do. Over a 13 year old child. I just don't want to be accused of anything more than BM already has. I have been accused of turning him against his mother and so many evil things to SD15 when she lived here. I know they are not true, but I find myself second guessing myself all the time anyway.

With the court case coming in two weeks, we are waiting to see if BM decides to settle instead of going before the judge and risk losing both of her kids to DH. I do not want SD here, but with BM suddenly silent, I wonder if she is okay with losing SD to us. Why else would she not want to just sign over SS? DH has agreed to no CS until SD turns 18. All she has to do is sign over him and this all goes away. The lawyers stop getting paid and she keeps SD. But, now I wonder if she doesn't want her.

I will feel better if we just got this over with. I have no plans on going to court with DH. I can not listen to the lies that I am sure will be said about me. I am sure Paul Bunyan will be there with BM. But, DH needs to focus on the case and not whether I am going to flip out over one more lie. I go up against lawyers and bankers all the time in my job and they don't intimidate me. I can handle transactions of millions of dollars for business owners without getting emotional. But, I can not handle someone defaming me without wanting to go ballistic.

I have to keep reminding myself that this is not about me. But, BM and SD made it about me. I didn't.