Don't tell him. (Remember they always kill the messenger). When he realizes the scheduling conflict, let him know that you expect him to honor your plans. If he is unwilling to, be ready to enjoy that last night in the hotel without him. Do you have a friend who would come spend Sunday night and Monday with you? Or just enjoy the accommodations alone. Perhaps a spa treatment will help.

I agree with still have hope, do not tell him. When he does realize then remind him that there is no cancellation and let him know that it's his choice to stay or go and pick up SS3. If he chooses to go then he can be made aware that you are dissapointed. Make the most of the time you do have, I would not come between DH and his son though. I hope you can remain calm, I think that is crucial when things are not going the way you or he planned. It's not so bad that he double booked or forgot, seriously, how many times have any of double booked or forgotten an appointment? You can still have a mini vacay at home, little touches here and there to remind you both of when you met, flirtatious gestures etc. It does not have to be a fancy hotel in reality, the mood can be set right there in your own home. Just do like I do and tell him 'you owe me one buddy!' My DH gets the message when I say that. There was a point in time where it was make or break for us too! Things do have a way of balancing out though.

If it was me, I wouldn't tell him. I'd go on like I didn't know. When he realizes, I'd still pretend it didn't dawn on me.

Then I'd expect him to keep his plan with me. If not, go alone or take a friend.

This isn't the popular opinion, but personally I would tell him. I would feel so guilty for knowing and not reminding him...I'm supposed to be his partner. I don't think I could enjoy myself knowing that's hanging out there. I might seriously consider spending two nights with him and then staying and enjoying some alone time. Room service, massage, etc. That's just me though...whatever you decide, I hope you can enjoy each other and get your relationship back on track!

I would tell him. I don't like keeping things from my DH and I feel it erodes trust.
If rescheduling is out, is there someone (maybe a grandparent??) he can spend the weekend with?

I would tell my husband & just let him know he'll have to get SS next weekend instead.. You two need to take your vacation. Your marriage is just as important with the time he spends with is son. He should understand that && im pretty sure his son or the BM isn't gonna die just because he switches weekends.....it wont be the end of the world. Dont be afraid to STAND UP for your marriage

What happens if you don't tell him, and then BM starts calling on Sunday telling him to pick up your SS? Do you think you DH will pick up and leave? Or will he admit to BM he forgot? I know I probably wouldn't want to say anything, but my conscience would probably get the best of me. I would always be anxiously awaiting BM's call wanting to know where DH was, and it would probably ruin my time. Let us know what happens!

Not sure why DH isn't aware when he has to pick up SS3. If he leaves that up to you then I wouldn't tell him.

And like the other posters, he can choose to talk to the BM to rearrange SS3 pick up.

If that's not possible, does he have another family member that would be willing to host SS3? "In-tact" families hire babysitters all the time!!!

I'm sure the BM would have a fit, but that's not for her to dictate.

If he decides to pick up SS3, then go with a friend or alone. All the while reconsidering your relationship!

Why would you tell him. It is his job to keep up with the schedule with his kid. Not yours. HIS KID.

Go have fun and reconnect.

This may not go over well with the others on this site but: If he has visitation he doesn't have to take the child. She has to have the child available.

The judge just reminded our BM of this fact. She yelled and screamed at the judge but he told her that is the way it is. Now his CO probably says that he should give her notice.

But once again. NOT your kid...not your responsibility to keep up with the schedule.

It's not your responsibility to tell him when to pick up the kid. He's dad - he should already know this - if he doesn't remember - tough shit!

And if he does by chance remember, don't let him out of the vacation that you BOTH NEED to reconnect and keep things on track. In most of our situations - how many times do BMs throw a hitch in the plans, even last minute. She may be counting on you to pick kid up, but as other poster said - it's custodial parent's responsibility to have child available and ready at agreed pick up, but non-custodial doesn't have to take (no consequences if you back out). Yes, she may throw a fit, but TOOOOOOOOO BADDDDDDD - you guys sound like you really need a vacation (like most of us :)).

Again, if he remembers - DON'T LET HIM OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!! If he doesn't bring it up, you don't bring it up - not your responsibility!!

Honestly I would have told my dh and he would have just told bm that there is a schedule conflict and be done with it. She did try that once when dh was supposed to get the kids and she refused and they got in a huge fight with her still ended up tell him no. Then when she realized it was my bday and we made plans she all of a sudden said he could have them, he told her no we have plans and left it at that. I was so proud of him. The thing is that since she didn't get what she wanted (to ruin our plans) she hasn't done that one again.

I see that it all worked out good for him sometimes life just happens and we just go with the flow. So happy for you and good luck.

I have to agree........keep your mouth quiet!! I have told my DH something like this before and it turned out to be MY fault because I "should have" reminded him of that!! Can you believe it!! He is a big boy