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Discipline was a foreign word

weekendstress's picture

Sad I came into my stepsons life at 6 years old and he is now going to be 9. Until I came into his life the concept of discipline was non exsistent. He is not a bad kid but lacked manners and basic right from wrong. His dad was the oldest of 8 kids and never new what love, discipline, or even what attention meant so he us useless when it comes to those things (he left home at 16) I feel like the evil stepmother and tattle tale because I am always having to punish him because his dad is oblivious to his actions. It doesn't help that my husband has ADD and we are getting my stepson tested for that as well. I feel like a mother to both of them. I feel like I help him take a step forward when he's here on weekends and then he goes to his moms and takes two steps back. For example, we asked his bio mom to help him with basic responsibilities like making his bed, her response was well I don't make mine so why make him make his? Stupid lady! I am so worried that this kid will be sooooo disadvataged, picked on, uneducated (all he talks about and thinks about is playing and video games) I am the only one that teaches him lifes basic skills. Its not like his father doesn't try but he just doesn't know how, I am having to remind my husband or tell him what life lessons he should be teaching his own son. I am so frustrated to the point where I am beginning to resent my stepson and I hate feeling this way. I don't know how much longer I can take.

weekendstress's picture

Wow you have a lot on your plate so picking your battles probably helps you keep your sanity. I will try that. Thank you for your encouraging words, because if I try talking to my husband about my feelings he would be in la la land. I think I put to much pressure on my kids so they will make something more of themselves than any of us parental figures combined, but I just hope that I am not expecting to much from them so much so that I don't let them be kids and have fun.

qtpie568's picture

Expecting a lot of them is a GOOD thing. I'm a product of parents who expected me to have a sense of responsibility and to do things on my own, and I turned out SO SO SO much better for it. Don't push them to do things that are optional that they don't want to do. And keep up the good work with your SS