SD24 Wants to Move In
So all of you know the issues we've been having with SD21 and her 2 year old son living with us this past year. So now SD24 is wanting to move in. Mind you, the last time she lived with us which was over a year ago, she wasn't doing any of the things she was supposed to do as a condition of her living there. (Focusing on her daughter, getting her GED, getting a fulltime job, etc) She only lived with us a few months before we kicked her out for associating with this one guy we told her she couldn't date. (Guy was on parole and was wanted for taking off his monitoring device. Also is a registered sex offender and is one of the reasons she doesn't have custody of her daughter).
The only reason I am even considering it because we currently have SD21 living with us, and we have done more SD21 than we have done for the other three stepkids COMBINED, especially financially. Also if I say no, I can see her pointing out the fact that SD21 has been living with us for the past year. This is also SD21 and her son's second time living with us in 2 years. Only thing about SD24 is she will actually wash dishes and keep the kitchen tidy (unlike SD21), and I was thinking of charging her rent for living with us as well. I don't know though...just don't know if I can mentally handle another SD living with us because I pretty much know how it will turn out. Plus I know the two SD's will end fighting and not getting along sooner or later. Should I just say no and be done with it?
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Comments
Kick out 21 year old and let
Kick out 21 year old and let the 24 move in for awhile...Is the boyfriend still in the picture. If so, hell no. But, you need to get SD21 out of the house.
^^ See that's one of the
Trust me, I WISH I could kick SD21 out...you have NO idea how badly I'd love to do this. But unfortunately my wife gives her preferential treatment. Truth be told if SD24 complained that we favor SD21 and do more for her, she would be well within her rights to say this because it's true. My wife will just say "Well SD21's circumstances are way different than the others".
You're already having
You're already having problems w/SD 21 living there. Moving SD (24) in as well will really be a trainwreck. Are either of them self-reliant? Do they have jobs? It's time to make them stand on their own 2 feet and stop giving them a safety net to fall back on. Why would they ever grow up and get their lives in order if they can always fall back on you?
For me the answer would be no! Plain and simple. Make these young ladies grow up and be accountable for their own lives and the choices they've made.
If I imagined the SDs would
If I imagined the SDs would be living with us when into their 20's, I honestly think I'd lose the will to live. I think its incredibly generous of you to accommodate them. But if they get the idea they can move in and out at will, where is it all going to end? Will they still be round your necks in their 30's?
I left home at 17 and am afraid I expect young adults in the 20's to be self supporting. Maybe the only answer is to move to a smaller house.
Freaking kids man. When are
Freaking kids man. When are they going to get a life of their own and leave us alone! WTF!! I sympathize with you OP. I don't know how you do it. My BS22 is still at home, but he works full time and I hardly see him. he also doesn't pay any bills but I'm trying to let him get out of as much debt as he can so he can move out and do his own thing. BS25 has been gone 3 years now. SS18 is with us, but recently started working as well. If they stay home and they are respectful and help out with chores and stuff I guess it's not so bad but sometimes we just want our own space & privacy! Like seriously guys! GET THE HELL OUT ALREADY!!!!
What on earth has your wife
What on earth has your wife done to these kids to make them want to live at home at the age they are? Tell the SD to move in together. I still can't imagine what good could come of this.
You know what, after thinking
You know what, after thinking about and reading all of these posts you guys are absolutely right. My mental state is tested enough with SD21 and her son, I don't need two of them living with us and taking over our house. Of course I know I'm going to get a guilt trip from SD24 but it's best that these kids not constantly use us as their safety net everytime they can't figure something out.
Good for you. Tell her that
Good for you. Tell her that the other SD is on her way out so maybe they should room together. what is your wife going to say?
Oh I've always said that all
Oh I've always said that all the SD's should just get a house together, but that might only last a week before they are at each other's throat. I've never seen any of them get along with each other for an extended period of time. It's because they are all selfish, entitled, and have a "me first" attitude. You guys are right, no more revolving door. Once SD21 is out, no more moving back in.