Stepchildren and inlaws invite my hubbys ex-girlfriend to baby shower
Still fuming... I recently attended my step-daughters baby shower. After being there for over an hour, the door bell rings. Much to my surprise in walks my husbands (we have been married 8 years now) ex-girlfriend. To my embarrasment all eyes turn to see my reaction. My husband and this woman did not have a nice breakup and she continued to badmouth him and even me for years to the family. I personally feel it was bad manners to invite us both to the same shower. They have never done this before so I am confused as to why now. To make matters even worse, the girlfriend decided NOW it was the time to "Clear the Air". She then proceeded to announce to me that my husband REALLY had never really meant that much to her afterall and she was OK with things now. REALLY??? I took the high road, was nice to everyone including the girlfriend and stayed until all had left and helped clean up. However, I cried all the way home as I was simply humiliated that these people did not inform me she was coming beforehand so I could have made the decision to go or not... My hubby which tries to see the good in everyone says it was just an oversight.... I have decided to never attend another function of these people as I feel this was intentional and unkind. I will provide a gift as it is the proper thing to do but will not be treated like this again. I wanted to say something to my step daughter but hubby says don't make waves...that by saying something I would just look crazy... What would you have done?
I'm sorry this happened to
I'm sorry this happened to you
I don't know what I'd have done. It seems as though your SD has remained close to his ex, which is her choice.
However, I'm an adult SD too and there's no way I'd invite any ex of anyone to a shower or any other celebration for something in my life unless everyone continued to get along wonderfully. If everyone got along ok, I'd let them take me out to lunch or dinner. If my family member/friend had a tough breakup with their ex, I'd politely wish them well with their lives and cease contact with them.
Funny thing..The whole time
Funny thing..The whole time my hubby was dating this woman the SD could not stand her. Now it appears she is just a dear friend... It drives me crazy just trying to make reason out of this situation.
The Mother In Law after
The Mother In Law after knowing what the EX did to my husband - NOW defends her and states all her cheating and running around was due to the fact my hubby did not understand her emotional needs. WTH??? She is lucky he did not kill her after she was bringing men into the house with the children there... Dooes anyone know how many times it takes the phone man to fix the phone jack in the bedroom... We do - 6 times..... HAHAHA
They have no manners... no
They have no manners... no respect for others. On top of that they have a mother that is white trash. She is the guiding hand behind them. The only control I have - because my hubby just wants everyone to get along...is to disengage. The stand I take is that I will not tolerate being treated this way any longer.
Boy you handled that well.
Boy you handled that well. Me - I would have left if that was a person that caused that much drama for you and your DH. Also, I would make it clear to IL that they should not have done that and since you can't trust them going forward you will not be associating with them at any future activities.
My IL don't know their place on stuff with BM and has since caused some serious fallout and I will no longer do anything with them. DH can but, I will not.
In order to avoid more
In order to avoid more conflict I asked DH to address the matter with his daughter. As usual she tried to act confused and avoid the confrontation...and then mentioned she sure hoped I wasn't making a fuss so that it harmed her relationship with her dad - afterall he did want to see his new grandson didn't he??? OMG...
Oh Good God! The baby is not
Oh Good God! The baby is not yet born and she is starting that shit already? That does not bode well for the future. Guess she learned all too well from a passive-aggressive BM. My advice would be to see the baby as little as possible and make sure you do not get emotionally attached to it as she is sure to keep using him as a pawn for years to come.
all i can say is, ew... rude!
all i can say is, ew... rude! im sorry that happened.
I'd make it very clear to my
I'd make it very clear to my dh that if he did not take care of the situation I would and he would not like it. I would then never go to another function and not send a gift. If my dh goes which he better not without me then he can look for another place to live. We are a team as one not 2 separate people. you can not live a marriage like that. Now if my dh takes care of it and makes it very clear that he will not come to another function if they are going to do crap like that then ok I'll go. But he better make it clear that I will be attending and that if they pull that crap again he will to attend either. Their choice!