Oh heck yeah! The fact that it takes an act of GOD to get SS8 or SD7 to use their brains for most normal functions makes me wonder! They are smart kids, they just...refuse to use their brains! It makes me crazy!

The elder 2 Skids (SS18 & SD14) aren't all that bright either.

My family is FULL of early talkers, early walkers, early readers & children who communicate VERY well from a young age...my nieces & nephews were even thrown by SS8 & SD7 & their lack of brain usage!

Actual event from when SD was 5
SD: Anywho, may you get me more watermelon?
Me: No SD, you get more watermelon after you eat your chicken & it's "May I please have more watermelon"
SD: GRANDMA! May you get me watermelon?
Me: MIL, I just told her she needed to eat her chicken! SD, EAT YOUR CHICKEN!
***niece 6 & nephew 6 look at each other then me in SHOCK***
Niece: SD! You're supposed to wait until aunt is gone!
Nephew: Yeah SD, that's weird, don't you know you're supposed to not ask again until the "NO" grownup is out of the room?
Niece: SD! No grown up likes it when you do that...that's why you wait until they can't hear you ask another grown up!!!
Me: Niece! Nephew! Shhhhh! SD, eat your chicken!
Niece: But aunt, she has to be told how to do it! Even Nephew (2) knows that!

I had to leave the room as I was trying not to laugh in front of them!

So yes, I totally get where you're coming from!

The weekend just gone was my first full weekend with my stepkids and it was a nightmare as far as I was concerned. My BF and I have only just moved in together and our first night in our new houe was spent cleaning up after his kids, they're lovely but at the same time having them around me constantly for 3 days has made me question whether I even want kids of my own. I guess this is because I would not want my child to act anything like my stepson and stepdaughter, they are both like their biological mother and I find their beahviour and constant need for attention quite annoying at times. I wasn't able to get a peaceful moment to myself and found I had to lock myself in the bathroom to have 5 minutes alone. Right now I can say 100% I am not ready for kids of my own, my BF's have totally put me off.

All BM's children and my SD very much included are super rude kids with absolutely no filter. They (15,13, and 11 yr olds) all share the personality and intellect of doing things like:

1. Running around like animals through the house and either anger or horseplay causing broken doors, broken windows, writing on the doors and walls, and holes in the walls. Also playtime in the kitchen using ever dish in the house, "making pancakes" by using 5 lbs of flour, every egg in the house and not sure what else was used and completely destroying my kitchen and the adjoining room complete with dried flour paste on the carpet and flour sprayed every where (this actually happened 3 times). I am really not exagerating on this one....lol

2. Straight up telling adults to their faces that they are fat or ugly and that they are hags or bitches...being bullies...talking about killing people and things all the time...talking about fighting and how cool it is.

3. No remorse for anything that they do that is wrong and blaming everyone but themselves is the worse and this is a quality that I see in their BM. All the children are this way.

They all have different fathers so I really don't know about its genetic or lack of parenting...you would think out of three one of them would be different but that is not the case.

No, because 99% of SD18's behaviors are learned, in my opinion. So it's not so much genetics as bad parenting. And I am fully prepared to be the GOOD parent in this situation. So far, BDs 8 and 5 don't show the same tendencies as SD18 (thank God).

:O jojo, that's just bloody scary!!!

Good parenting is much more of an influence than genes. BM's idea of parenting was to let them do as they pleased - no bedtime, no chores, no extra curricular activities, no expectations of good behavoir of any kind. My adult SDs barely graduated and both are on many meds for mental problems. Family and friends have commented to me several times about how immature they are at ages 21 and 18. Family doesn't want them around due to fact one has stolen from anyone who leaves property unattended around her.

My bios have been in the gifted program since starting school. They are active in church and scouting completing many service projects. DD started babysitting at 12 and is in high demand as neighbor's can trust her with their little ones. They do their chores, save their money and help around the house without being asked in many cases. They cook their own breakfast, lunch and snacks and clean up after.

The difference is in how they were raised. Children rise to meet your expectations if taught with love and kindness. In my experience most skids are never expected to get over the divore and broken home so they never do.