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F/U from last Friday's emergency Counseling session....

seidahogirl's picture

Submitted by seidahogirl on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 9:40am

So as some of you know, last week my husband scheduled me an emergency counseling session because I wanted SS10 to be placed in a summer program or summer camp.

Well I went to my appointment and the counselor told me verbatim "I don't know what else I can tell you except separate." However there is a catch... I have to basically give him the ultimatum. Either we take parenting classes together and HE steps up and become a father or I AM OUT until it changes. I am to give him 2 months and if things are the same, one of us leaves. I hate to give him this BUT I am at a loss. My husband is one of those men who doesn't do anything until his world crumbles and then he takes action.

Secondly, my husband has an addiction to video games. He has an addicts mentality and even the counselor said that until he can admit he has a problem then everything else around him will continue to fall apart. Just like an alcoholic or drug addict. It's weird to think of video-gaming as an addiction for a 40 year old man but it is what it is.

After we have our counseling session this Friday I am leaving for 7 days. I really need to go home and spend time with my mother and brother. They are my only support system and we live 10 hours away from each other so the support I need is pretty much by phone only. PLUS I am picking up my children from their BF, a week ahead of schedule. That is the best part about my trip home. I am soooo excited to see them after 6 LONG weeks.

Even though this will be a short work week, it's going seem like it's taking forever. I want to go home to my MOM. I know that's immature to say but when things go wrong, who doesn't want to be hugged and told its OK by their MOM?

Hopefully I can tell my husband how I feel without being a big baby about it or him flying off the handle and walking out. We shall see...keep you posted on the outcome.

Thank you friends for all your kind words, reality check comments and understanding. This forum has made a HUGE difference in my life. I appreciate you all.

Comments

anabihibik's picture

Submitted by anabihibik on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:38am

I don't think it is immature to want a hug from your mom. I do the same thing in crisis. Smile Good luck this week.

Miss Know It All's picture

Submitted by Miss Know It All on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 8:19pm

I feel obliged to stick up for video games as I work in the industry -- but it's true that some people have an impulse control problem. Or that they'd rather escape to the land of Azeroth (World of Warcraft joke) than deal with everyday life. The good news is there's no chemical damage from a video game "addiction" and unlike a porn addiction, he has no excuse for slacking off in the bedroom because of Call of Duty (I had a *great* double entendre there, but I think I lost it...)

Anyway, this is something I've counseled other SOs of gamers to do, depending on how "addicted" their SO is and on whether or not s/he would react violently if you got caught:

For Console Gamers:
Step 1: Wait 'til s/he's gone.
Step 2: Remove game disc from console.
Step 3: Microwave for 5 seconds.
Step 4: Replace in console.
Step 5: Act like everything is normal.
Step 6: When s/he discovers ruined disc (and this will take WEEKS because s/he'll think the disc read error is the console's fault, not the disc's), blame the kids or act like you know nothing (and you may well have forgotten the incident and so can genuinely claim ignorance).

For PC Gamers:
--Repeat Steps 1 through 6 if disc-based game (it's probably not, though).
--For World of Warcraft or other MMO players: Open your own account. Create your own character on your SO's server with your OWN credit card. Report SO's character for "botting." When his/her account is banned, offer to call customer service for them. Forget to do it. Rinse. Wash. Repeat.
--For PC gamers using a download service like Steam: Disable internet as needed. Or ask SO to create you an account, form an "addiction" to a game of your choosing, and somehow magically be "feeding your addiction" whenever SO wants to play HIS/HER game.