BM does not respect SS's visits with Dad
My SS - 15 lives with us and his BM equally. We've been doing this for over a year now, even though the legal paperwork does not reflect that (we're getting that taken care of). SS goes to BM's house for 7 days at a time. During those 7 days, my husband and I do not bother them. For some reason, during SS's 7 days with us, BM calls SS to come mow her lawn, go out to dinner, etc. We also stick to the "Holidays/Special Days" in the original Parenting Plan and she will plan events and get SS excited to do something knowing damn well he isn't even with her then! -and then she makes him choose who he wants to spend Memorial Day, 4th of July, etc. with... Any advise??
In the past, my husband has always told SS that if he really wants to go with his mom, that he can. It's just becoming a regular (every week) problem. My husband and I agreed that he will no longer "give in" to her and he did tell her NO yesterday when she wanted him over for dinner. It just causes problems because SS will just get mad at Dad if he isn't allowed to do something fun w/ BM.
Agreed. Thank you for your
Agreed. Thank you for your comment! My husband is an awesome father to his son and also to my daughter. I only wish my ex was as involved with his child. It's so crazy to me how jealous this woman is, and how much trouble she causes. She is very immature and that makes it difficult to co-exist when necessary. Thanks again!
We don't do any contact when
We don't do any contact when they are with us on our week. We have 50/50 as well. Stops all this nonsense...If BM wants him for something it has to be something really special and in the last 3 years that has happened maybe three times. This week we are getting him the day before and that is to take him to camp...
If you start this type of stuff with these BM's it makes it hard to go back. DH needs to say no at least 95% of the time on his week to get BM back under control in her expectations....
This is kind of tricky,
This is kind of tricky, though. Is she making plans for her and SS, or is she just making plans for the holidays, and SS wants to go too? IE, she's going camping for 4th of July (with or without him); she's going to neighborhood block party Memorial Day; she's going with a group of people to Six Flags when it's his week with you. You can't expect her to stop living her live and never do anything fun when he's not with her, and if he wants to go, should she just refuse or should it be up to his dad whether or not to let him go?
She can make plans to go to
She can make plans to go to Disney World for all I care. If she wants SS to go with her, she should make them on HER days to have him. Or keep her plans to herself instead of dangling them in front of his face as she does. I do not expect her to stop living her life. In fact, I wish she would get a life so maybe she would keep her nose out of mine. If my husband and I have plans for a weekend that SS is not with us, we keep a lid on 'em so that he doesn't feel like he's missing out on something. And if we're planning something big, we do it on SS's week to be with us. It's not that difficult -just wish she would do the same. Ironically, when it's her time to have visitation with SS, she's out with her boyfriend(s). It's all a big game to her. Sad. Thanks for your comment tho - it helps me to see it in a little different lite.