I sooo thought my dh and I were on the same page and we are sooo not. Dh went and picked ss up today-originally he was staying with dh's parents. I did bemoan the fact that dh's mom would likely coddle ss and spoil him and then he would not be getting the point that his behavior is problem. Soooo, my dh let him stay with his sister-who has a boy a year older than ss and they've hung out in the past together. Ok. This one puzzled me a bit as I think ss will like this even more. Now remember this is the kid who ran away this week, got yet another F on his report card, and who yelled at dh on the phone that he didnt want to visit him anymore (this after 6 months of dh not seeing him due to military)-I just thought this seemed a pretty sweet deal for the kid. Then dh tells me his sister is bringing ss by our campsite for a visit. Wow. That really defeats the purpose of him not visiting with me/the kids until he can work on some behaviors. Then he tells me that me and ss need to talk. Because while dh was with him today he told dh that he just always felt I treated my kids better than him. So once again MY fault. Because ss thinks I favored my kids he devised a plot to murder my son, stole my panties for years, screamed at me daily for a number of years, and has treated me like a leper for the past 4 years. Always making sure I know he dislikes me and wants nothing to do with me and has no desire to have a relationship with me. Additionally, I guess my favoritism of my kids also has caused him to lie, steal, fail, refuse to do his homework, get suspended 4 times this past year, disrespect my husband and his bm. Makes sense right? Perfectly justifies all of his behavior.

Evidently so according to dh. He told me that I needed to spend time with ss in order to give me a chance to treat me differently. Damn! He just-this very day-blamed his behavior on me yet again-but yep I'm ready to see how he has matured and grown. Now dh's sister called a while ago and dh was talking about yes, how he's tried to call cps in the past, but they wont do anything. I can hear him say, I know, I know. So yep, what's going on now is ss is telling stories about bm and trying to work the sympathy angle with his aunt. GAG! I asked dh afterwards what he was talking about and he played dumb-pretending he never even mentioned cps. (CPS was called over 6 years ago by ME-not dh-because she left him alone with his 7 year old sister) I waited 15 minutes and said something agian to which he replied that he'd tell me later as he was trying to eat. He's now sitting on his computer and still not compelled to tell me anything. Probably because inside he knows its a bunch of bs.

I just give up and feel like crying. SS, despite his poor behavior, will always be a victim and others will always feel sorry for him. Meanwhile, he will continue to be an ass on a daily basis as his parents and family allow him to be.