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the sskids come and the whole home changes

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Sat, 05/14/2011 - 7:05pm

Why is that the whole dynamic in the house changes when my ss comes for the weekend? I'm really worried if we cant get through a weekend how will we possiably get through 3months strait. I barely survived last summmer. I know a lot of women on here fell somewhat like this I see it in the blogs of other people. But why is it? I mean other people come into our homes and everything stays the same but this one child can change so much in our homes. I feel like my husband and I go on stress alert, the slightist thing and we have a fight, we have a few areas of contention normally but we are happy and don't actually fight that often except when my ss is here and then it feels like a constent fight. I don't know I just feel discouraged, I was all pumped up for the summer last week, optimistic and felt like I had a plan but now hes here and I'm doubting all the work I did and research on how to give him a settled enviroment. Maybe its because he isn't on his pills this weekend and it will be better this summer with his medicine. This blog really had no point I just need to muse these thoughts somewhere.

Comments

Gmama's picture

Submitted by Gmama on Sat, 05/14/2011 - 7:21pm

I feel the same way,, my stress level starts before he even gets here,
he lives out of state so we only see him a few times a year, but man I feel your pain,, my daughter needs to re-adjust, she's use to have DH all to her self (her dad passed away) so my husband has really been the only dad she knows, I freak out because with him comes the drama of the EX wife,and her BULL SHIT,,, it takes a while for things to calm down.. and by the time everything gets back to "normal" it's time for him to leave again... AUGHHHHHH..

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Sat, 05/14/2011 - 8:37pm

I know what you mean you finally make them half way bearable and they go back and start the whole vicious cycle over again

childofmine's picture

Submitted by childofmine on Sat, 05/14/2011 - 9:18pm

I have been thinking about this a lot because this is my daily life. SSkids live with us.

--anything I have to say about sskids is a personal attack on him and kids
--when he needs something thats when I am Step mom all other times I am girlfriend
--my opinion doesn't matter so why give it
--sskid have been through so much so he must baby then and shelter them from mean step mom
--when I say something about our children I'm being a mom

WTF--
so I have adopted the motto
KMS-Keep Mouth Shut
when it comes to sskids--when he asks me what I think I reply "I don't know honey what do you think"-and walk away..