:jawdrop:

I was fully anticipating the typical bullcrap because we had SD8 for the weekend. Could have been that she was well behaved because it's been a while since she's been at our house but we also celebrated her birthday (it's next week) when she was here, and she was really, really good! I actually ENJOYED her being here and everyone had a great time. Maybe there IS hope for the future. We shall see.

On another note, we found out (because SD8 spews information like a fountain in the park) that BM and BM's douche-bag hubby have been telling her that her Dad doesn't love her and doesn't want to see her because he doesn't love her. SD8 said she tells them it's because DH has to work (he is usually working on the weekends and his days off rotate) and they tell her no, that it's because he doesn't love her. To further confirm the truth, we bought a small pocket-calendar and colored in DH's days off (rotates every 3 months so she knows what to expect) and colored in when DH's weekends are so she can see that Dad might have to work on the weekends she's supposed to be here, etc. She seemed to really like that and said "I will keep this under my pillow so BM won't take it away from me" - poor kid.

We also were told that BM has been telling SD8 that it's DH's fault they aren't married anymore (it's not, they were done before we met) and has let DH shoulder ALL the blame for their divorce. He sat SD8 down and explained things to her (in a very age appropriate manner) and also told her about his visitation being affected by his work and school schedule (he works full time and is a full time criminal justice student) and at the end of it all SD8 had this to say (through tears): "I can't believe my Mom has been lying to me all this time"

What the hell do you do with THAT? DH called BM and she denied it all and said she "can't control what her DH tells SD8" and that SD8 is a "nosey snoop" and listens to their convos where her DH "might have said something like that".

Does anyone have any experience with BMs and their DH's bashing the OPs? We know she's done it for YEARS (she admits "I haven't said anything in a long time...like 6 months at least...where SD8 can hear me say it") and DH is trying to undo all of the mental torture but it's clear and evident that SD8 is twisted in the lies and confusion and will continue to have her head filled with CRAP. I can't say that I want SD8 to come and live with us by any means, but the poor kid is being tortured mentally by her BM and SD and that's just NOT right!!