Life isn't all butterflies and rainbows but when did that become our job to point that out to the person posting? I have noticed it alot has well. Lots of judging and frankly not a lot of nice comments. This place is supposed to be for us to come and vent, for us to not feel so alone and to ask for advice. Not well you should have done this or you knew what you were getting into. I agree with you stepmom2011. What ever happened to if you have nothing nice to say dont say anything at all?

I agree completely with most everything you wrote, except that you shouldn't feel like your only solution is to leave and go elsewhere. This is your safe place, too, and you shouldn't let anyone take that from you. I hate our situation at my house with SD and I have good days and bad. Days that I wish she would never come around again and I let my anger take over, and days where I feel empathy for my husband and what he must be going through and I push myself a little harder and dig a little deeper to find more and more compassion. It's necessary to have a place to come and "vent" frustrations to and let out the poisonous feelings and this is YOUR place to do just that. Don't let anyone take that away - especially "holier than thou" overly opinionated, aggressive internet bullies.

I'm not going anywhere, but seriously. If I wanted to hear "I knew what i was getting into" and "you arent a "real" parent so you don't understand" I have plenty of that in real life. I think there are a minority of people who feel that way here on this board and the majority would never say something like that.

I agree with onmyway. I think it has a lot to do with the delivery then what they are saying. Maybe that can be worked on as well as some compassion.

honesty hurts no matter how softly you put it sometimes.typically the most hurtful comments to a person are the ones that she already knows are true deep down,that's why it stings so badly.peeling off the layers of self delusions and denials hurts a lot because you're left with nothing but the things you've been hiding from yourself.

I know the advice I've received has really given me some things to think about, new approaches etc. But there are those that come on pretty strong. In my own case, I absolutely LOVE little children and can only think of one or two that I haven't really cared for but it's hard for me to read posts about how much some people hate their 3 or 4 year old skids. I just can't relate to it. But I don't post on their thread either.

If you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all...or am I wrong? Everyones debating on whether u should be considerate to others or be a dick and make them feel like shit? This website is to vent on your own personal life and how your having a rough time no one needs to be attacked if you think someones way of living isn't 'how you would live your life' then move on to the next post don't judge someone on their life when they come here too feel a little better about it... not worse!

sm2011, after your lengthy week long visit to st and you have concluded it's not for you, than it probably isn't... a tree hugging group may be better suited for you.

why didn't you just leave?? why the farewell smackdown to ST??

after your comments about this place, i hope you weren't seeking a "PLEASE STAY" rally.

I can kinda understand where SM2011 is coming from. Sometimes instead of offering a solution to his/her problem, we criticize the poster instead. For example:

When a poster blogs about a situation where she/he did something wrong, and basically asks for people’s help on how to fix it, people will often focus in on and criticize her for what she/he did, instead of offering help in how to fix it like he/she asked.

Or in another poster’s case, she vented about her SS and DH stealing her daughter’s honey bun. Instead of either agreeing with or disagreeing with her vent, she got jumped on about feeding her daughter a honey bun.

I wouldn't be too thrilled about being on this site either if that happened to me.

Edited to add:

But as you said Starfish, she has only been on this site a week. Man, I hate that when people come along and try to make us all out to be hateful, judgemental etc.

Ok-so in conclusion-this is a complaint on one of many boards

If you're going to post on the worldwideweb...Be READY for DIFFERENT approaches to your vent/gripe/advice request/question. Otherwise go to your "yes dear" friends and vent to them so they can tell you what you want to hear and they've been trained to know will work for you.

Look-post what you want, vent about what you want, have an opionion like you want, bitch about others opinions if you want, get mad about it if you want, write a "everyone sucks" post if you want, go into a smackdown on a "good bye" thread if you want"..... freedom of speech everyone.

Don't expect people to act, type, think, speak, respond, question, opine, live, act and blog like you do. Respect eachothers right to be assholes, opinionated, stubborn, jugmental, accusatory, nice, bad, indifferent, stupid, rude, fake, overly nice, a doormat...

Get the picture? LOL

I remember that post it was almost as if every nutritionist ran to tell her how awful she was and wanted to explain to her all the other alternatives she should be giving her and that was not even the point of her post........I would have felt attacked and that is sad were supposed to be here for each other. Disappointing

over a frickin' honey bun??? i must have missed that, but if somebody is "attacking" you on the "web" about honey buns and you take it personally w/out even thinking about what a nut job one must be to attack a stranger on the internet over a fucking honey bun...

if that's the case, then the problems may run a little deeper than what a site like this could possibly help.

Sm2011- when I found this site it was for a thread started about 4 years ago and I was saddened by some posts. There were some who sounded so jaded and mean but other that seemed very compassionate. I agree it'd be nice if some things be handled more delicately but everyone is different and some find no room for sugar coating the truth. Don't let that discourage you. Perhaps those who you find judgemental had a bad day are going through hell or have been there and the brutal truth is what they needed. If their advice or comments don't help you don't take it. This site also has some amazing life stories that you can take a lot from. I enjoy it for all that it is. Some comments drive me nuts and others really help and I've only been here for a small while myself.

OMG what a load of crap over a post from a woman that wishes this site was used for what it was intended for. STEPTALK Where stepparents come to vent! NOT BE JUDGED from a bunch of people who should know better than to kick other people in the guts when they are asking for help! Shame on you people! I have had the same problem and have gone as far as to delete my blogs because of the crap people keep posting. They don't read the post and go on a tangent about there OWN feelings rather than give good advice. Get past yourself and remember the saying YOUR mother or father told you when you were growing up, If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all! That doesn't mean bullshit someone and make the world all lolly pops and rainbows but you can be nice in the post rather than being an A hole.
Stepmom2011, if you find another site, please let me know, would love to join one that supports us and give good advice.
To those people who are lovely, I love reading your posts, they do make a difference.