The "One Up"
Maybe BM was just really excited... or maybe she felt like she just had to "one up" us. I'm leaning towards to latter as she has done this before. We have had a family trip planned to the Caribbean for several months. SS11 needed a passport so we got that taken care of since January. Aside from the trip being for a family wedding there, it's also a place where I have a lot of family and I visited every summer as a child (I am also from the Caribbean so have family all over the islands). I haven't been in a long time and am really looking forward to returning and sharing this part of my childhood with DH, and the kids. It is finally in a few weeks. Just last week BM told DH she was going to surprise SS11 with a cruise after school ends, just the two of them (no hubby or skids for once). Sounds great, right? He only sees here EOWE at her house with hubby and three other skids but in the summer, we switch to seeing him EOWE while he stays with her. What a lovely surprise it would have been. This week SS11 is at BM's (Spring Break). Last night, SS11 calls to give DH his every other day update on all the things being purchased for him at the other house and mentions that he's going on a cruise in xx days. So much for the surprise. DH had to remind him of our trip coming up in just a few weeks. Why did she have to do that? Grrrr...... Whenever we have anything planned, it seems that she has to call to tell him what THEY'RE going to be doing. Last time, we were in Washington D.C. at the time en route to our final destination , driving by the White House, when she called to tell him of their grandiose plans once he returns. Annoying....
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She just wants him to be
She just wants him to be excited about their trip together, which is the same thing that you want. There's nothing wrong with that. It may annoy you, but you can't let it get to you so much that you or your DH say things to minimize the excitement about both trips, or try to make one look "better" than the other. That's getting close to PAS, IMO.
I understand the annoyance. Try to let it roll off of your back and let the kid know how awesome it is that he's getting to go on two incredible trips. He'll know deep down that you care more about his happiness than sticking it to his mom.
JMHO.
"It may annoy you, but you
"It may annoy you, but you can't let it get to you so much that you or your DH say things to minimize the excitement about both trips, or try to make one look "better" than the other. That's getting close to PAS, IMO."
That is one thing that DH and I certainly don't or won't ever stoop to doing. If anyone is trying to make one trip look better than the other, it's her. We don't talk about her negatively or say anything other than, "Cool! Sounds great SS11. You'll have a great time!" whenever he tells us about plans they have or stuff they did. She has guilted SS in the past about being happy with us or having fun with us.
"Some people just have to
"Some people just have to keep up with the Joneses"... Yep, that is BM for sure. Things and status matter to her. As for the calls from SS to DH about what he got. DH talked to him about that a long time ago. Basically told him that whenever he calls, he always talks about what he got or what he would like to get. He told him he would much rather hear about how he's doing. SS was really good about limiting the "look what I got calls" on the EOWE spent at BM but this is Spring Break which encompasses a whole week and TWO weekends and BM just doesn't know what to do with him (as the other skids aren't on break) so she buys him stuff. He is constantly asking for stuff too and the difference between our households is that we say no, and he knows that the more he asks, the more we'll say no. At her house, she doesn't know how to say no so whatever he wants, he pretty much gets. In a way, he is exploiting her and she is allowing it because she is a guilty / disneyland mom. We hear a lot on disney dads / guilty dads but there are moms too in that boat who see the child EOWE and fall into the same trap.
I agree with lifeisshort's
I agree with lifeisshort's advice but I am pretty sure you are just venting here and probably wouldn't actually demean the kid's trip with his mom to him personally.
I know how you feel..it does suck when you are excited to do something as a family and then the 'other' family sort of does something to trump it. It feels like it's taking away from yours. Just know that you will have fun and focus on the fact that htey are completely separate trips and focus on how lucky SS is that he gets to do all of this!
I think it's going to really suck for our own son because we won't be able to take him on trips...but the skids will get to go to lots of cool places with BM and her family.
You are very fortunate.