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Is this mean, need opinions

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Fri, 04/15/2011 - 9:49pm

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Blended Family Issues

So my husband has been talking about getting me this really pretty family tree necklace for Mothers day, I was telling him what birthstones would be needed because he was asking me and I gave him, my birthstone name, my daughters birstone name, and his.......I think he is upset that I didn't include ss7 but its my necklace and I just want my child, my ss7 is not my child so I don;t think he should be on the necklace.......Is this wrong of me????

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Fri, 04/15/2011 - 10:38pm

No, it's not wrong. DH's kids are not my kids. I don't care who tries to get me to believe they are; they are not. Simple.

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 6:36am

Thank you so much sometimes I just need to someone to say it strait to me so I can stop feeling guilty.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Fri, 04/15/2011 - 11:13pm

Years ago my dh got me a mothers necklace-all 3 of my bios and my ss's birthstone-at the time ss was around 6 or 7 and had lived with us since 1. I was still fully committed to be a "mom" to him. But things change. I dont wear it now as it is a reminder of the fact that that particular situation did turn out so badly. I wish I wouldnt have gotten his stone in there.

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 6:39am

See that is exactly what I'm afraid off, that I won't want to wear it just because of that. I'm not close to my ss at all. But I am so sorry that you were and things changed for you. Thats how it was with my mom, my older half brother was raised by her for five years but when his mom was done with all her degrees and setting up her career and had money to buy him, he was gone and never really even talked to my mom again.

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 6:40am

Thank you so much, we all just need people to remind us that we have rights to, sometimes I think that we forget that.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 9:26am

I have a mothers ring that I love that I can't really wear anymore. My late husband had it me made for me, with him and my sons. He made this knowing he was dying and wanted me to have something with him and our other son who passed away two years earlier. Now I only wear it when some milestone for my other son happens. It is my way of having all of them their with me. Sappy, I know but it gives me some comfort. If DH knew what the ring was, I am sure he would not find it appropriate.

A mother's ring should be of the children that she feels are her children. If you don't feel it for your steps don't do it. If I had one with SD15 in it and what she has done to us now, I would have it re-made. Child is a brat and I do not need to be reminded of the crap she pulled...

You have him put in it whatever you are comfortable with. No matter who that is....

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 9:41am

Thank you so much for your comment. I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine what that must be like.

wicked's picture

Submitted by wicked on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 10:47pm

Maybe a family tree necklace just isn't a good idea in a blended family. Won't you feel uncomfortable wearing it around your skid when he is not on it? I don't know, it just doesn't seem like a great idea to me.