'i'm bored when I come here"
This was the comment that my SS14 told my DD11 when he arrived here. he said he was tired of just sitting around watching tv. we live in a small rural town and my husband is a homebody. The BM is all over the place and they live 25 miles from our house so it's not really feasible to be running back and forth between his hometown and ours.
DD says bring your Xbox, he says it's not good for it to travel. What do you do at your moms? he says: watch tv, work out, play my xbox.
So here is what I want to say:
Dear SS,
I love you and we love having you here. Boredom is something only you control and it's in your head.
You work out at your mom's.....go into the den and work out here. You do push ups there...those require no equipment. But if you want to you could use that $600.00 weight machine that I bought for you two years ago Christmas. I even put down the treadmill which you could use as well. If that doesn't float your boat, you could use that crappy eleptical.
You play the Xbox, we have a Wii, I even offered to buy you games and you said the Wii games that are like the ones you play on the Xbox is stupid- your choice. But it is available.
How about picking up a book, you do know how to read correct? I wouldn't know I've never seen you read a book before. You have an Ipod Touch, or did you loose/break it? LIke the Ipod Nano and shuffle that you had, as well as your gameboy and DS?
If worse came to worse you could talk you remember how to talk. I ask you a thousand questions and you say yes, no, maybe not sure. How about I say take a flying leap?
Play ball with the dogs, or how about brush out a horse or two? hmmmm..........also I have three computers (ok two currently since my laptop bit the dust earlier this evening).
But DH has a ton of computer games. SO GET REAL ON BOREDOM.
I am not a disney parent, I work my butt off all week, and run in activities. On the weekends, I like to rest and chillax. I want to watch some movies, I want to clean my house and do my laundry. You know real life stuff - they are typically known as chores. You wouldn't know what those are here as you aren't asked to do any.
Boredom is your choice, not mine.
Get over it.
- 12yrstepmonster's blog
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Comments
Dear SS- I have a ton of
Dear SS- I have a ton of stuff for you to do! LOL. I have dusting, dishes, mopping etc
Well that would mean chores
Well that would mean chores and he "doesn't live here" and shouldn't have to help.
Not chores, they are
Not chores, they are activities to relieve boredom
And seriously, I don't get that crap about not doing stuff cause they don't live here. They use my dishes and walk on my floor. They need to at least clean up after themselves. If not, dad can. I stopped touching their messes.
I like the activity buster
I like the activity buster theory. WE use that in the summer - he mows.
I will give you one I used on SD when she was about 14-15. They were here for a summer visit (4-5 weeks) and I asked her to clean the bathroom while I was at work, she said "I don't do toilets".... I said good, shit behind a tree next time you need to go and the toilet won't need cleaned. Turned around and walked away seeing absolute RED.
AAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA!!!! I
AAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA!!!! I LIKE IT!
If he says that in front of
If he says that in front of you then without thinking or flinching reply calmy with, "ok, mow the yard- front and back" or whatever chore. Each and every time he says it, give him a chore AND make sure he does te chore. I bet he'll learn to be quiet. He wants to be bored so he can complain to his mom about how boring it is in hopes that hedoesn't have to come over anymore. The thing is, I doubt ANY kid is never bored at their primary residence.
You know that's true about
You know that's true about having another friend come along. Makes a big difference and can be fun for everyone. I've seen that work great.
But..there were the 2 evil brother that, along with ss, held my sweet dog down on her back on ss's bed and head butted her belly. They were in highschool. I happened to walk in the bedroom to ask a question and saw it. I couldn't believe my eyes....I mean I couldn't believe this really sweet boy could do such a thing. Ha....from then on, let me tell you....the evil from him flowed. I never saw it until that day. Him crapping his pants as in 2& 3rd grade...almost burning a house down, stealing stuff....I just thought little boy....ha!
But he did bring one boy over that was a good kid and my nephi would bring a friend over that was a lot of fun.
my mom's house was always the
my mom's house was always the hangout house and would love that. WHen I have mentioned it in the past he has shut it down, with nothing to do.
ANd:
a) DH doesn't like kids in the house, they are disresepctful and get under his nerves (so whatever)
b) and we did this to or three times with SD (and I know you shouldn't compare kids) and it literally blew up in my face.
c) my house is so far from being kept at guest status, adn I usually require the kid who wants friends over the help clean.
But I am liking that idea. DD11 would like to have friends over too and DH is always saying he can't stand the kids running everywhere through the house. Once the weather is nicer will have to see what we can get done on that end of things.
I am one of those parents who
I am one of those parents who are annoyed about other kids under foot. I have 3 of my own I dont need 3 more here. I do try to let them have someone over every couple of months-and typically let them have one BIG sleepover a year. I let my dd have 50 people over last year for her bday. But I never feel quite comfortable when guests are in the house. I feel like I cant walk around in my underwear, curse, drink-not that I do those things on a particularly regular basis-I just dont like the feeling that I cant! So I get your dh's feeings. I dont mind as much in the summer as I encourage them to stay outside and even set up a tent to sleep in.
But I agree with the others give him some chores. I have never cared if ss is bored when he's here. I know he has to be as the other kids dont really like to be around him so they typically find other places to be or we have some sort of event for them which we go to and ss gets dragged along. Dh does spend time with him, but he is definitely not one of these that wants to spend every second of the entire weekend with the kid and he doesnt particularly cater to him unless it is convenient to dh somehow. So alot of time I will just see him walking back and forth from the bedroom to the lving room-if the other kids are here he will go from one to the next starting stuff with them outof boredom-that is usually when I scream "go find something to do!"
I think maybe this a new thing with this generation as well-the constant need to have someone entertain them. I never recall being bored as a child (I'm sure I was once in a while) but I loved to read, use my imagination, play in the woods, play with paper dolls for hours, etc Kids nowadays especially these kids of divorce act like they need to be entertained 24/7
I was bored, but no one
I was bored, but no one entertained me. They shouldn't have to.