This Is Hard Just To Think About
My daughter told me this evening that while hanging out with my stepson in his room, he said to her, " I think my dad still loves my mom." She was a little taken off guard because she didn't know what prompted him to say that. She did, however, tell me that he was texting his mom at the time.
She also told me that she saw an essay he wrote in his English class and he talked about how his parents split up, and how many step brothers and sisters he has. He wrote that he wished he could get his family back together (along with wishing he could make it to the NFL)...
How do I deal with this? I'm feeling like, "After all these years, six years of me and his dad being together, why at 15 yrs old is this still coming up?" Is my husband saying anything to him that would get him to think that he still loves her?
Do I talk to my husband about this? Do I have a sit down with my SS and talk to him first? Im feeling really sad. I've always felt that because he had a 12 year relationship with her and 3 kids, starting in High School, that maybe he loves her in a way he doesn't love me...maybe Im Good ol reliable...but no matter what shit she did to him, he will always love her??
I think you should discuss
I think you should discuss this with your DH and he will no doubt reassure you this is not the case. I'm sure your ss wants his mother and father back together again - but this is no refelection on how reality is. My DH and BM divorced after a 7 year marriage, SS was 3 when they divorced and SS was still harping on about wanting his parents back together again at the age of 18, maybe even longer (SD told me this). What didn't help was SS had been told as a child that when his parents met "it was love at first sight". He often told me that when he was a child. The reality is DH was sleeping with BM's best friend, then moved on to BM, amongst a number of other young women at that point in his life, then BM fell pregnant by accident. My SS is now in his 20's, in recent correspondence with his father, he mentioned how "fragile" our marriage is. I can honestly say that it's not - not in my mind or DH's. I believe that SS wants to believe that we have a crap marriage and he may still harbour dreams of his parents reuniting. Anyway, all I wanted to say really is this is an insight into how your SS is feeling - not how your DH is feeling.
Sounds like SS was just
Sounds like SS was just having a case of "evil". All kids of divorce want their parents/family back together. Kids don't even really know what love is, so they think their parents love each other eternally. It doesn't help that there are so many shows/movies out there where the divorced parents magically realize that they still love each other and get back together at the end of the show (usually leaving a path of destruction behind them) and everyone lives happily ever after. We, as adults, know this really doesn't happen (not very often anyway!).
If I were you, I'd mention it to DH, just so he has a clue what's going on with HIS kid.
This is something your ss has
This is something your ss has to resolve on his own. Reality will eventually lead him to the truth. You have nothing to gain by bringing his misguided thoughts out into the open. What he thinks isn't
going to impact your relationship with your DH anymore that dreaming of winning the lottery will impact your bank account.