Okay this is what I think is happening with my stepdaughter.
All this is symptomatic of you her dad marrying someone and SD failed this time to break this relationship. (Something she has done in the Past).
SD deep down is furious about this. As a rule most women have fled her dad's life as he allowed this from what I can gather so the SD always had a upper hand.
In SD's fury she has taken it upon herself to move away to hurt her dad. This is true because she now knows this does hurt him as he has expressed this.
SD knows how desperate her dad is to have her move back closer. (It is over a hour in the car).

So SD's partner who I think is lovely and is SD's bit of prey is just not able to handle someone as strong as her he is caught up in the middle. (Will explain soon).

So SD has been plannning a big wedding 5th August 2011 first of all it was going to be in Greece and my children were not invited. I told my husband that I would not go and I did not want to spend two weeks away from my children. (SD was happy about this).
The plan then changed to another venue abroad and so I did my bit and supported her,even though I would not be going.
Another change, not going to be abroad now UK and everyone can come inc children.
Partner's parents did not want to go abroad and SD is wild about this as she feels everyone is F***'in her big day up. (Her words)

SD wants this day at whatever cost, that wedding is going a head and she will be in the £800 dress as her dress cost more than mine.

We got married on a budget as I have always been careful with money. My husband is in a very good financial position and I have never taken advanatage of this. I know that SD thinks younger woman has kids just taking advantage of her dad. (I could maybe see why at first she might think this and feel protective of her dad).

SD has been very disrespectful and I have felt the harshness from her many times and yet my husband has never told her to stop it!
I will explain that SD's mum died when she was eight yrs old and her mum had been ill with breast cancer for at least a couple of years. I have no doubt's in my mind that this is tough.
SD is now 24 yrs.

I have always respected her relationship with her dad and have been more than willing to give them time alone and not get in the way. Maybe that was my mistake.

In 2010 I arranged a a pary for her dad's 60th, asked her to be part of it and what part did she want to play in helping with this surprise event.
Her response was 'going on holiday skiiing'. So I still kept her in loop and emailed her about all that was happening.
SD never went away and came to the party and never spoke a word to me all evening. If looks could turn someone to stone then this girl would have done it. Ruined my evening...

I had asked her to be part of our wedding day and if she would like to be a bridesmaid and do some sort of speech on the day, asked her to come and look at dresses she might like to wear and I would pay and it would be fun with my other bridesmaids.
I had my own children and two long term friends as briesmaids.

SD did not want to do any of this so I sent her a email, expressing that her and I have no relationship and on my day I wanted people to be around me who would be happy for her dad and I.
SD phoned daddy and told him how upset she was and had no idea why this had happened. I showed him my email and asked him why did your daughter just not phone me. (The email was not rude).

I have had her dog in our home and in the past it wet all over the bedroom carpet and had to be replaced. My husband asked me to clean it up. SD had left with her dog and so it was me who found it all our our cream carpet.

I have two children myself and at times she can be very nasty to my older daughter and make very cutting comments. The oldest is sixteen and by know means perfect. The younger one is almost eleven and SD is a little nicer to her.

To date this is some of the drama's going on.

Dad,

I have never really asked for your help before, mostly because I have never really needed it. But this time I am in a situation that I cannot get out of alone.
We owe £1050 to our landlords, apparently half of our rent did not go out in December and none of it this month. I can’t tell you why xxx's did not go out as we can’t access his account (forgotten pins, passwords, everything).
I know its a lot to ask, and I know things are tight for you too at the moment with Shiraz not working so I will not be upset if you cannot help me.
I’m sorry to do this in an email but I am never alone at the moment and I don’t really want to put anymore stress on (partner) xxx so I have not told him.

I left my job in December and my husband has been very supportive with this. I just feel she has the hump about this, I feel this was the point in the email and saying money is tight.

Dad in the past has brought her cars and she even had her own flat that he helped her buy and got her all new things to go in it, new sofa, kitchen, fridge, ect.
SD had a small morgage on the flat but then sold it when with a previous boyfriend.

So the new Partner xxx we have never really spent any time with his parents only a meal once in a pub and they seemed a bit odd toward us.
Oh and did meet them again new years eve as we looked after SD dog when she went on holiday and I thought then they seem realy nice. (Why have we all been kept apart?)

SD has not worked for six mnths and has been running her own company (marketing).
SD's partner has been holding things together as you do, but he has now had a melt down and is in a bad shape.
Dad went up at the weeekend to look at the situation. So once my husband was out way I took it up on my self to contact patner's parents.

These are the things hse has said:
SD has said; Dad has never help'd her was not going to pay toward the wedding she has to buy her own dress, not true her dress is £800 and she asked dad to transfer money into her bank account to pay for it. My children are horid and well you can imagine what she said about me.

So we exchanged stories and well partners parents have been through some of the things I have been through. The dog had done it's business on the floor and she refused to clean it up, and gave them the look. You have no idea about the look. The christmas present they gave her she just looked at it in and threw it down.
They have not been able to ring the home number as she has refused to let them have it, ( I gave it to them), they have been unable to contact their son on his mobile as she takes it away.
It is so like a bad movie.

They told me the house was so dirty and partner's mum took eight bag's of washing out, the dog had messed in bedroom and wet all over the carpet. Partners parents asked her why it was like this? SD has had nine thousand pounds out of them as they fell for the sob story about the wedding and other stuff. It is endless... Oh the deposit for wedding venue she told them she had to find it. Not true!

Dad went round to partners parents home the next day and they listened to him talking about his princess and then told him all what she had said about him being a awful parent and they have said they do not want xxx to marry SD.
They have had to cancel the holiday they were going on so they can look after their son.
Xxx parents have said she controls his bank account and told them so. (Madness)

So the wedding is off for the time being but dad still wants to help his little girl and yes of course I understand that but!
SD has started a new job and with both income's they can pay of the outstanding rent and other things they need to pay.
Dad had taken her food shopping filled her car with fuel going to pay rent. SD is making a fool of dad and he just does not see it and he needs to stand up to her and be firm. It will be bad news if he does not do this as she has had he way for to long.

The list is endless. Any input welcome and of course if I have not made anything clear please say...