I've been reading through alot of these posts and feel a bit better that I'm not the only one having this kind of issue.

Just so frustrated right now...

Some background: I'm dating a great guy who has three kids ages 13,15 and 17 (two girls/boy in that order). I have three kids ages 16, 17, and 22 (mine live in another state going to school, etc). My BF and I have known each other for 12 years (we met when our 17 yr olds went to kindergarten together). His 17 yr old son lives with us.

I have know my BF for 12 years. No I was not the cause of the breakup (that's another story altogether). His ex basically left the state without telling him (they were "working" on their marriage and she was having an online relationship with some other guy) and took the two younger kids with her last summer (she went to help her sister relocate to yet another state), told him all summer she was coming back and then on Aug 1st said she was staying there (he spent 11 months trying to save the marriage and she played alot of games with him).

So he came to the conclusion that it was over. On Aug 14th he said
"F IT!" and decided it was pretty much done.

On Labor Day weekend (two weeks later) I came down to visit (I was friends with both of them so it wasn't that unusual for me to spend time here. I was going to see her but she was further away now). Something clicked with us and we decided to start dating. He called and told her he was moving on and told her it was with me.

And THAT'S when things got really ugly.

She started posting alot of BS on Facebook to the point where their kids would see it and get upset (and call dad and yell at him about it). She lied (said I called her when she had in fact changed her number and I didn't have the new one). She got the kids to hate me (kids who previously loved me to pieces). She even stooped low enough to contact my ex and cause problems for my daughter (my 16 yr old before she left to go to school). It got so bad that every time I tried to correct people and defend myself on Facebook it got worse and nastier and started causing my BF alot of problems with his kids. I decided it was best to block everyone involved (the adults who were not acting very adult like).

We did manage to get the girls out for Christmas and it went well. But now we're back to more of the BS I've worked so hard to avoid. We sent her a marital settlement agreement in hopes she would sign it (we live in a state where they don't like to see people get divorced so they make you jump through hoops) and it was very fair, giving my BF only 45 days of visitation, her full child support, and him paying all the transportation cost, and she got up on FB and just lied about it to everyone (there were alot of comments about how she ought to take his deadbeat a** to the cleaners). there was even a point where some guy she was "dating" (on FB, she never met him in real life) sent my BF a threat letter saying he was in the kids lives now and my BF had best tow the line (she's since dumped this guy claiming he "lied" to her about himself). My BF just wants to be divorced from her without too much damage (he got sued over that rental she destroyed...she wasn't even named on the lawsuit! So now there's a garnishment for $5200 against him so he's trying to keep her from costing him more money), to the kids and himself.

And just this evening the ex called her son and attempted to talk to me (I told the son "you know I can't talk to her and why") then called my BF and yelled at him about me not talking to her. Also we were trying to find out dates of spring break so we can fly the girls out for a visit and that conversation didn't go too well either.

So, what does the ex do all day long? Seriously, she's on FB (to the point where people have had to hide her posts because she posts so much people can't see what their other friends are posting). She has no job.

So help, what do I do? I really love this man and would like at some point to marry him but how do I get through this without having the urge to fly to that other state and just slap her upside the head in front of her kids? She creates drama because she knows that she won't be held accountable for it. You just know she would never say half this stuff to someone's face because they'd knock her block off. How do I keep the kids from hating my guts because of lies their mom tells them? I'm tired of this becoming a fight for my BF and I because I feel like I get raked through the mud and can't do anything about it because I don't want to cause any further problems for him with his kids. I have already blocked the ex and her family but just earlier tonight the sister used the daughter's account to try to have a conversation with me. I don't want to block the kids too because that I feel would make things worse.

Please note that my ex's and I are very amicable and we don't have this high school mentality BS going on...we act like adults. My parents had a very amicable divorce (and they hated each other). I am simply not used to dealing with someone this difficult and illogical. Do I just keep my mouth shut and hope it blows over? Is it best to try and stay out of mind out of sight as much as possible and hope not to piss her off?