BM's Facebook status helps her to play the victim during the holidays
Just checked out BM's Facebook to see if she has anything up about the holidays. To recap, she VOLUNTARILY gave up both of her kids to the dads (my DF and her daughter's bio dad). She is supposed to have them Christmas Eve according to stipulation and certainly could have, but she told us to take SS3 the whole weekend, from tonight through Sunday. Same is happening with SS3's older sister, SD5.
Yet of course, BM's status is: "Really going to need some holiday cheer in the form of alcohol to get me through this Christmas. No kids 
But on the plus side, I also didn't have to buy them any Santa gifts!"
I love that she wants sympathy, is obviously preparing to party all weekend (reason #1 for giving up the kids), and wants to gloat about how much money she saved because of her amazing plan (reason #2 for giving up her kids).
What mother DOESN'T want her kids on Christmas? And doesn't want to see them open gifts and be excited about Santa? At 3 and 5?
Love someone's comment though..."I guess that's the breaks when you have two kids with two different dads"
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I can't imagine bragging
I can't imagine bragging about not buying my kids gifts. What a piece of work. Thank God they have good dads and SMs.
Print it out. You never know
Print it out. You never know when that type of stuff will come in handy.
Oh we do!
Oh we do!
Validation in the form of
Validation in the form of sympathy feels really good when your guilt billows to the top.
I find that BM simply can not bear NOT being the victim. It's how she functions day to day with her choices. If it is constantly someone else's fault, then it is never hers. So she will twist any given situation to paint a picture and a voice that is crying "Poor me". Regardless of how she came to that situation.
In the same scenario, my skids' BM would be more along the lines of "I just can't stop crying because I miss my girls so, so much and wishing that I could be with them on Christmas. Counting down the minutes til I see them again... please offer up all the hugs you can."
And then she won't call them at all on Christmas Eve and will be late picking them up.
It's just how she rolls.
I read this and my exact
I read this and my exact thought just now was "wholly shit, Colorado Girl is me".
This is EXACTLY what my SD10's BM would do. BM complains and complains that she is "losing my relationship with SD10", but the woman will not spend one on one time with SD10. She's the victim and has basically accused us of PASing SD10. We have never not allowed BM her time with SD10. But she is always "trading" or just plain making excuses not to take SD10. She's negotiated her way out of spending any one on one time with SD10 in the last 4 years...I can't even count that high.
BM will claim to be MOTY, but she just doesn't want to put in the actual TIME. See, her BF has 50/50 custody of his children, so our BM only wants to have SD10 at her house when BM's BF has his kids there. Make sense? Basically because SD10 is entertained by her BF's kids. Easy peasy for her.
DH and I just talked about this very topic this morning. How we're bracing ourselves for next week when BM will have SD10 next week and because SD10 isn't in school, and her BF's kids won't be there because of a change in that sched, we KNOW that we'll be getting calls, either from BM or from SD10 wanting us to take her.
The thing is, normally, I really don't mind. I love SD10 and she and I have a really good relationship, however, I would love to have some alone time with DH and I'm off work next week, so I'm prepping him now. "You know DH, that BM will be calling us next week....be strong".
My nature is "above all, lets be fair". We pay her $1,100/month for CS when we have 50/50 joint custody. I told DH this morning that, if in a few years, if SD10 wants to live with us full time, that's fine, but we're going back to court to get CS modified, because I refuse to pay her if SD10 isn't going to live with her. DH is already saying things like..."lawyers are going to cost a lot of money..it might be too much money to change it"....I said, "then I'll pay for it".
I could go on and on....but ugh...just pisses me off thinking about it.
How BM is such a fucking victim. "I don't work because that's what works for my family": which is BM's excuse for not being employed. So basically, what that means is that both DH and I work full time and we pay CS and we pay EVERYTHING over and above for SD10...sports, education, medical, winter boots, winter jackets, everything. And yes, it pisses me off. And if we go on vacation we get the gears from BM..."Oh, your going on yet ANOTHER vacation, must be nice for you..i can't because I'm poor...poor meeeee..i can't affoooord it"....
GET A FUCKING JOB!!!!
UUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH
(breathe....whew)
The reason we pay so much is
The reason we pay so much is simply classic. BM, during her 10 year marriage to DH, didn't work, or if she did, it was really small, retail type jobs. Once SD came along, it was her ticket out of no longer working. The year they separated, DH made the most money of his career to date (remember when the economy was good)..and, of course, BM made zilch. So the CS is based on an income set-off.
However, he also agreed to pay all of SD's extra's. Believe me, we're putting money away for college, but BM doesn't feel its her responsibility.
If we ever got full custody, she would fight us because not only would she be losing her $1,100/month, she'd have to get A JOB. In the last 4 years, she has only worked year. A job she quit last year. Her BF supports her, we pay her CS. Why should she work?
Lets not forget the 3 years
Lets not forget the 3 years of alimony that we paid.
This woman made, without opening her little eyes in the morning, $40K a year in CS and Alimony.
Now she only gets the CS.
If it costs under $13,200 it
If it costs under $13,200 it would be worth it....and that's just for one year...total of $105,600 for 8 years...
wow, again, you can't fix
wow, again, you can't fix stupid, you just stand there and say, damn, she's stupid.
by the way, i blocked BM and
by the way, i blocked BM and ss17 and i can't see them anymore on facebook. i wish this would work in real life!!!
BM's page is not
BM's page is not private...yet she constantly wonders how she gets "creepers" writing on her wall and messaging her dirty things. Stupid.
yea, she probably likes the
yea, she probably likes the creeper attention, it makes her look desirable or somehow wanted, which is truly NOT the case.
she manufactures reason to get attention. our BM does that too, with her pathetic concerned mother routine. ya, if she's so concerned, how about getting the kids teeth cleaned or take them to the dr. once in awhile when they are sick. how about telling us about the skid activities. oh wait, they don't have any because they don't do anything ever.
keep smoking your dope BM. it keeps you out of my hair. duh.