PITA 16 refuses to talk to or visit his mother. They have had an on again/ off again relationship for the last 3 years. They are in an off phase now. I'm not really sure what happened over the summer when he did spend a bit of time there, but he came back, saying he wanted nothing to do with her, ever again.

She pretty much nailed her own coffin when she went and bought herself the car she had promised to buy for him...

But I still think, "that's his mom." I know she's crazy and has big problems in her life. I encourage him to call her at least once a week, even though I know he doesn't.

He was supposed to go to her house Thursday for Thanksgiving. According to the amended custody agreement changes set in 2002, it was her year to have the kids. He refused to go, and due to his basketball practice schedule, he was able to get out of going.

I told Loghead I thought it was important for him to at least CALL her. And Loghead said he'd talk to him about it...

So I found out tonight that Loghead didn't even bring up the subject with him, and was even mad to find out the other skids had tricked PITA into signing a birthday card for her...

I asked Loghead to talk to me about it, and at least tell me why he didn't have him call on her holiday, and he did the typical man thing he does and shut down. "I'm not talking about it," and marched off to the workshop.

Now, here;s my thinking... We have never said anything bad about her to the skids or infront of the skids. I have always worked hard to have a decent relationship with her. I've always felt it was important for the skids to know her and accept her for her inabilities; so one day they would see and make their own decisions about her. To still be able to have some sort of relationship with her, in spite of who she really is.

I don't think it's too much to ask for him to call and "play nice" for a few minutes or send a text- it isn't necessarily about him, but about her and how she feels. That's part of the adult world- you do what's right, even when it sucks. And I know it sucks. I know he is hurt by her, but as a young man, I still think there should be some respect there for her, as a human being, if not as a parent.

And I think Loghead needs to encourage that- to at least treat her with human decency; you don't have to love her, but you have to be nice.

Cause I think about how it would be if the shoe was on the other foot... What if PITA lived with her, and we expected to see him twice a month, and he never came, and she never made him call? How would Loghead feel about that? I've told Loghead that, and he says this is different, but he won't really talk about it. PITA won't talk to me about it...

And then I get irritated and think, well, what if it was Gibby? What if we were divorced, would he have Gibby call me? I would hope like hell Gibby would WANT to call me, but if he didn't, I would hope Loghead would still have enough respect for me as a human to have him at least call the 2 big holidays, Mother's Day and my birthday...

She's never done anything to physically harm the skids. She was undiagnosed bi-polar for so long and I do think in many ways that did hurt the kids emotionally, but she's had help for the last 10 years. She's balanced; she just has the same emotional range as a 13 year old girl. She truly doesn't see how her actions affect others, and if she thinks you have done something wrong to her, she will try to seek revenge. If I thought in any way she was harmful, I never would have continued to encourage communication and visitation for all those years.

I just think at 16, PITA is fed up with her games and lies. He doesn't want anyone in his life. The only people he seems to tolerate are his best friend and Grandpa... And I know the friend lives here on the weekends, and he has a sucky home life, so I even think part of it is that PITA doesn't go see her so his friend has a safe place to be...

Am I wrong to request that he contact her for her birthday next week? And it's her Christmas Day? He says he's not going... Is it wrong to request that he call?

Is it wrong to think that Loghead should put his foot down and enforce this? We pay the phone bill...