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Does it get any better?

ajf123's picture

Submitted by ajf123 on Sat, 11/20/2010 - 2:26pm

Hi, this is my first posting... I'd really like to get some advice from women who've been through this.

Its been just over a year since I met my partner, he has twin girls (14) and a son (9). I've met his son and we've got along fine, however his daughters refuse to meet me. We both have our own homes, though he spends most nights at my place except alternate weekends and Tuesday nights when he has his children to stay at his house.

We talked about moving in together, as things have gone well with his son, but he is so scared of losing his daughters that he's unable to make the commitment. I've told him I'm happy to meet them whenever they are ready, but there's nothing else I feel I can do. He won't tackle the subject with them, so where do we go from here? I feel that this situation is stopping us from moving on and making a life together, and worry that its going to start turning into resentment for me. Am I expecting too much too soon though?

Thanks in advance

Comments

ThatGirl's picture

Submitted by ThatGirl on Sat, 11/20/2010 - 3:45pm

I think girls of that age are going to resent you regardless of how you handle it. My guess would be that since he only has EOW with them, he's probably been playing the Guilty/Disneyland Dad. They've obviously been allowed to control him, given that he's allowed them to refuse to meet you. They won't be happy about you taking up even a minute of what they consider Their Time with their Dad. Just my opinion, however.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Sat, 11/20/2010 - 5:18pm

Honey, I hate to say it but his actions already place you second to his children. Any relationship like that won't work, take a look at the numerous posting here. Think seriously...Do you always want to be second best to his children?